tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post6342146471468818406..comments2023-10-31T08:35:06.883-04:00Comments on The House and I: They May Not Mean To, But They DoEGEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413356156587831974noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-54540139917635110652007-10-09T15:44:00.000-04:002007-10-09T15:44:00.000-04:00I gave my nephew an apple to eat, and, not bieng s...I gave my nephew an apple to eat, and, not bieng sure he had ever had a WHOLE apple to himself before, I told him not to eat the seeds in the middle. "Why?" he inquired. "Because the trees will grow in your stomach," I said. Of course he had to eat one to try it out. And, of course, he got a stomach ache from eating the darn seeds, and he went crying to him mom, telling her that his stomach was going to explode because he aste the seed and the tree was growing in in tummy. I had a tear in my eye becasue I was holding in the laugh. My sister-in law blew a gasket and told me to correct the lie, and never to f*&$&@! lie to her kid again! (that's when I was became convinced she was a psycho-b^!@&)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-84943025215479227382007-10-07T21:08:00.000-04:002007-10-07T21:08:00.000-04:00DREW IS 21!?oh hell i'm going to go pull off my fi...DREW IS 21!?<BR/>oh hell i'm going to go pull off my fingernails.Khurstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07952271282107143936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-3526484635586403352007-10-06T09:06:00.000-04:002007-10-06T09:06:00.000-04:00I didn't until you said it, but now I do. Liar!I didn't until you said it, but now I do. Liar!EGEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00413356156587831974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-44974689815974277312007-10-06T08:43:00.000-04:002007-10-06T08:43:00.000-04:00Sorry I missed the contest, but do you remember th...Sorry I missed the contest, but do you remember the sun rising on Monday Wed and Friday and setting on Tuesday Thursday and Saturday? doing both on sundayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-22921290171390500322007-10-05T19:20:00.000-04:002007-10-05T19:20:00.000-04:00OK this one is good. Not exactly a lie, but I almo...OK this one is good. Not exactly a lie, but I almost delivered the triplets right there in the car after the conversation. I was in the car with my father and Drew (now 21). Drew was almost 4 and was asking a million questions. My dad was keeping up the volley (maybe telling a few fibs)pretty well until Drew asked "Grampa, why do poopies come out of your butt?" Pause... My dad was almost crying with laughter, swerving the car as he choked out, " Well, I guess it's better than them coming out out of your mouth isn't it?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-26605896043064943372007-10-05T16:05:00.000-04:002007-10-05T16:05:00.000-04:00I cant remember any lies that my people told me. ...I cant remember any lies that my people told me. BUT! Luckily, I have my PhD in Phibs, and am very prone to lying straight away to my nieces, nephews, little brothers and my son. I have no shame.<BR/><BR/>1. When my brother Kurtis was three, I had that dude convinced that there were dinosaurs in our back woods that would come out at night and stare at him through his bedroom window. I mean, he REALLY believed me, as any three year old kid SHOULD believe his 19 year old sister. <BR/><BR/>2. My youngest niece Maya calls me Princess Auntie Jen. This is because I told her I am a princess. The Princess of Yonderpond. And, one day, she will inherit my throne. She is only four, so she doesn’t give a crap about the throne, but she DOES care about the crown…which is what precipitated this whole lie; I had a crown from my 30th birthday, she asked if she could have it, I said no, why? Because I’m the Princess of Yonderpond, and I need it to rule over my Realm. Der. <BR/><BR/>3. Holden was being a complete ass in the car one day when he was like two or so, and kept undoing himself from his carseat. We were of course screaming bloody murder at each other (because that’s how we roll), and I wasn’t paying attention to my speed, and lo and behold, a cop pulled me over. I told Holden it was because he wouldn’t stay in his carseat, and next time, he’d have to go to jail. I have never had any problems since with this kid in the car.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-66342638704492322812007-10-05T15:16:00.000-04:002007-10-05T15:16:00.000-04:00side-hill cows! My dad told me once that cows were...side-hill cows! <BR/>My dad told me once that cows were either uphill cows, side-hill cows, or down-hill cows. And you could tell them apart by the length of their legs...up-hill cows had shorter front legs, down-hill cows had shorter back legs, and side-hill cows had one short front leg and one short back leg (on the same side). All of this was so they did not fall down the hill when grazing.<BR/>clam pee!<BR/>my (nefarious) father also told me that the foam in the ocean was clam pee...ironically it turned out he was sorta correct, annoying!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-71511496461638906882007-10-05T13:40:00.000-04:002007-10-05T13:40:00.000-04:00Oh hell yes, both men and women do it. Or, at lea...Oh hell yes, both men and women do it. Or, at least my wife and I do. Our kid doesn't stand a chance. To be honest, we feed him so much merde, it's hard to think of any one example. Most involve aliens, animate inanimate objects, and evil spirits. <BR/><BR/>My wife is full of it. She told one little kid that her parka (leather, fur lined) was made from lion skin that she had chewed on to soften before she made it into a coat. The kid was speachless in awe and believed it for years.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01111893364147445374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189862499700338748.post-36136080496237546042007-10-05T12:56:00.000-04:002007-10-05T12:56:00.000-04:00They don't do it to be mean - just something they ...They don't do it to be mean - just something they like to do? <BR/>And yes, Mom's do it too. I'm sure Chemgirl could come up with something I told her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com