Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

Oh, god, we’ve really got to get out of here.

The news today is that there’s a proposal up for vote at the (“Now, Hat-Free!”) Town Council meeting tomorrow “that would require business owners and landlords to provide proof that they don’t hire or rent rooms to illegal immigrants” (I quote from the Boston Globe).

Now, let’s be clear about the fact that Johnny is not – and hasn’t been for at least a dozen years – illegal. Let’s also shelve the fact that there is already, and has been, a perfectly good and long-established federal law in place covering the hiring of illegal immigrants. Let’s just, for the moment, examine the details of this particular proposed municipal ordinance.

What is the purpose of this proposal? Well, according to the gentleman who put it on the table, it is “respect for the law.” And how will this be achieved? Oh, please, let me just quote again:

“A volunteer panel of citizens would be appointed to ‘invite’ landlords and business owners to register with a town anti-illegals program. Registrants would be given decals with American flags to display on their properties … The volunteer committee would be able to investigate anyone it believed had an illegal worker or tenant, using such documentation as digital photos or videos. There would be no fines for violators. Compliance would result from ‘peer pressure.’”

Um, racketeering, anyone?

Isn’t it enough that they beat the hell out of the Irishmen? Do they really need to start spying on the Indians as well?

Oh, but wait, apparently we have a logical inspiration behind this “volunteer registration” program. Turns out the guy proposing it had a tree taken down out of his yard and the company that did it was teeming with illegals. How did he know? “They couldn’t communicate in English," he says. "That was the conclusion I came to.”

On the flip side, though, the council isn't all that xenophobic. The Councilor-at-Large, no less, is dismissing most of the groundswell he’s had supporting the proposal, because he doesn’t think the folks emailing him are local.

Well, good for him. What tipped him off?

"He doesn’t recognize their names."