We Lied...

...but at least nobody died.

When we said my essay would go on Shakesville today, we forgot what today's date is. They've been a little busy over there. It will go up tomorrow, and you can be sure I'll remind you then.

In the meantime, let me just nutshell my day for you -- it will be a long long post when I get around to writing it tomorrow [now that you've indulged yourself with this here, Prudence, maybe the long-long isn't necessary -- Goody], but for brevity's sake, here are some numbers just to give you an idea:

2 hours spent in the dentist chair
20 x-rays taken
0 work actually done
1 referral to an endodontist for the broken tooth
1 referral to an oral surgeon to take out what's left of my wisdom (which is all of it -- I knew it was too good to last)
3 appointments lined up to fill cavities

1 deep, slightly shuddering breath, and now we move on to biometrics-appointment related paper-gathering

2 hours on the road getting to appropriate courthouse
45 minutes spent in...
3 wrong offices tried before finding appropriate office in courthouse
1 hour spent in appropriate office waiting to be told...
0 documents achievable today (why? we had "arrived too late in the afternoon")

tears, countless several

1 lashing rainstorm driven through on the way home
1 windshield wiper lost in lashing rainstorm (driver's side)

home again home again jiggity jig

1 electrician, finished the job!
1 John B., hanging out with electrician, waiting for us to come home
0 beers left in fridge
170 measly dollars electrician charged to hook us up

out again out again joggity jog

32 measly dollars charged at the package store for:
30-pack of Budweiser
2 6-packs IPA
1 pack Marlboro Lights, and
1 Ultra Lights

back up a sec and do the math... you realize what that adds up to...?

FREE BEER, that's what!!!!



(or free cigarettes, but that's nowhere near as funny, or as well-deserved...)