The Doom That Came to AssVac

I can't write today because I just paid my quarterly water bill and my hands are cramped from all the scribbling I've already had to do.

And to think: for that small (but recurring, and variable) fee, I get the privilege of showering in (and drinking, and washing dishes, clothes and cats in, and cooking with) the detritus of four entirely separate (and now-defunct) Massachusetts towns!

Towns where things like these used to happen:

And where things like this still do:

Yum.

I die a little every time I write that goddamn check. Then again, the powers of osmosis being what they are, I probably die a little every time I brush my goddamn teeth.

All things considered, I'd much rather go out back and suck on the house.

This'll be the reason I can't write on Monday...