It's not about the house.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

On the Grass, Alas.

Rhododendrons are like pigeons:

Run across one in the middle of a hundred-acre wood, and you might catch yourself thinking “What a bold and oddly handsome sort of thing!”

But in populated areas, when they insistently encroach:

You grab a chainsaw and start hacking ankles.

 Or, rather, you make your husband do it.

He accidentally cuts down the laurel, too, which you’d both agreed ahead of time deserved to live. But neither of you care. It will grow back. It was an accident. The two plants really do look very much alike.  

You would, therefore, be wise to puzzle over the question as to why one of the two plants is unquestionably lovely, while the other's so categorically inane. Yes, you would. Wise, wise, wise. But you could puzzle over it until your puzzler was sore, and still you wouldn’t be any closer to figuring out what kind of pretty little flower this is, which your husband discovered has been hiding in the odious rhododendron all along.

Long Shot: 




12ontheinside said...

In that first photo your so hated bush looks really pretty. Sorry. But it does.

LadyCiani said...

I don't know the plant, but it looks like it should attract hummingbirds, with the trumpet-like flowers. (love hummingbirds)

Khurston said...

my vote's for azalea - rhody's little sister if you ask me... yanked two of em up with my bare hands this weekend.

susa said...

I second the azeala vote.

Anonymous said...

azalea, which is a close relative of the hated rhododendron

ege said...

Argh! I hate azalea!

Kidding. Obviously I wouldn't know Azalea if she sat on my face and wiggled. But I have always hated the word.

Miss Thing, your pretty pink days may be numbered, after all...

Poppo said...


Tiny Oak Park Bungalow said...

After seeing the first photo, I was going to remark what a cool rhododendron you have. Ummm,uhh, had. Hilarious.

beardonaut said...

The combination of chainsaw and pigeons sounds very appropriate. A Friday night on the town if I ever heard of one.

Sparkle Plenty said...

I join the mighty chorus intoning, "Azalea!"

Why don'tcha keep it and just mentally rename it? It's a:

If you get enough sun, d'you know what might be cool to plant???

If you're a lilac purist (not sure what this is but thought I should add a caveat of some kind here), you might not like it. I'm in love with the idea of a lilac that reblooms in the summer and keeps going 'til the frost, 'though. Can't get enough lilacs (but maybe if they were around all the time they'd insistently encroach like the rhodies...uh-oh).

DonnaStaf said...

I think it's honeysuckle?

Hubert said...

Looks a bit like a rhododendron - which means it might be an azalea. If the leaves are less shiny than the deceased plant and the flowers drop off after about two months of flowering, then it may be an azalea.

It would make ecological sense for it to be an azalea (or another shrub of beelzebubba) as they are close relatives of the rhododendron. But different. They dance jigs on tuesdays not thursdays.

On a related note. The Immigrant Squash appear to be germinating.

pork luck said...


Jenni said...

Poor little flowers........

Dig it up and move it somewhere or give it to a neighbor. Or toss it down to Georgia and it can fight it out with the Kudzu in the back yard.

Jenni said...

Oh and YAY !
Someone is painting the house. Yippie
After all, one can only watch
Princess Bride so many times.

ege said...

Oh my lord, I haven't checked in for a while! Let's see, here...

Poppo -- I THINK YOU MAY BE RIGHT!!!! If I wrap a blanket around it, do you think it might transform?

TOPB -- Yeah, I hates 'em. Sittin' there, thinkin' "Look at me! And my pretty pink flowers! Ain't I somethin'!" Argh.

Beardo -- If you could actually hack a pigeon off at the ankles with a chainsaw, then (as Mickey Goldmill would say) you're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!

Sparkle -- I have recently declared my love for lilacs, but I do fear that if I had to see them all summer long I'd anthropomorphize it, too. And I'm a notorious misanthropomorph.

Donna -- Yeah, I thought so too. Apparently, we're both dumb. But thanks to you, when the carpenter-ant infested "free stuff" showed up in my driveway, I hit the bastards with FOUR cans of Raid. Kills bugs dead!

Hubert! -- Johnny's glad to hear about the immigrant squash. What about the beans, man? What about the beans?

PorkPie -- I know. It's hard.

Jenni -- Yes! (I mean, yes, asalea and everything, but yes!) Someone is painting! I will take new pictures and post soon! Oh my lord, the AssVac is a new Princess! (And I don't mean to be particular when I correct you, but just for the sake of making more fun of Johnny: it was not Princess Bride he was watching, it was Princess Diaries.)