It's not about the house.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Jump Off the Roof, Maggie!

I am a tangled mess of ire and frustration.

I am all the insects in the cold black dirt after some spyglass-holding shithead lifts the rock. Earwigs, earthworms, writhing grubs and pillbugs, all turned over on their backs with their wee little extremities waving mutely in the air. That's me.

I am a saucepan, too full of something starchy, boiling over on the stove you just scrubbed clean. I’m the cat who didn’t see you coming. I am a thundercloud, unsatisfied with water droplets, flinging hail.

I’m the suitcase you had to sit on to zip closed, straining as it's bumped up a seemingly endless flight of stairs. I am a still-wet load of laundry, tangled in a solid mass by a drawstring liberated from your favorite pyjamas. I’m the fork, somehow loosed from its compartment, jammed against the left-hand runner of the silver drawer.

I’m the one wheel on the grocery cart that doesn’t turn. The dam against the river. Drunk in jail.

I am a weak, metaphoric blend of Alanis Morissette (don’t you think?), Leonard Cohen (I have tried, in my way), and (some say) Bette Midler.

Oh, fuck it.

I am not a poet.

I’m a you-know-what.

And I am hot. 

Not a chick-a-wow-wow kind of hot. More like a there-would-be-sweat-dripping-in-my-cleavage-if-I-had-cleavage-but-I-don't-because-it's-too-hot-for-a-bra-so-instead-the-sweat-is-just-sort-of-pooling-in-my-belly-button kind of hot. 



Anonymous said...

I'd offer to host you for a cold week of winter but I don't know where it's gone. The past week has been almost spring like, today for example has a high of 21C (about 70F). In winter? WTF? On Sunday it hit 28C (82.5F). Too odd.
Oh, and have you thought about trying a sippy cup? :)

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) I have at least four books written. And, I live on an island. Plus, I'm very organized. And, I'm not at all scared of tires going flat. (All in my head re: your last post comment.)
2) This is absolutely brilliant writing. I feel kinda shitty commenting on the writing quality of a howl post--but it's awesome. 3) Chocolate frozen yogurt (besprinkled with toppings of choice) and a giant iced coffee. Possibly the sooner the better (re: your last post comment).

Sending hugely good vibes to ya!
Sparkle "Brick" Plenty

beardonaut said...

Fine. I surrender. Your hot is hotter than mine. Interpret that in anyway you want.

jen said...

Holy effin crikey. I'm with ya sister.

beardonaut said...

OK. I'm blaming you for this one. Mah Girl just reported an earwig crawling around the window in our apartment. On the fifth freakin' floor. Definitely your fault.

EGE said...

12 -- That's the same picture, don't worry, I didn't spill the coffee again! But seriously, 28 in winter? That's just nuts!

Sparkle -- Gosh, thanks! I tried the chocolate ice cream trick this weekend, with disappointing results. Maybe it was all the caramel and peanuts and whipped cream and jimmies I smothered it in. I will write those 1500 words this week, I swear. Or die trying...

Beardo -- Yay! I win! If you'd only surrendered sooner I wouldn't have had to send the earwig...

Jen -- Is it hot there, too? This is just not right!

Sparkle Plenty said...

"Maybe it was all the caramel and peanuts and whipped cream and jimmies"...gggglllllrrrruuuu (That was my Homer Simpson drooling ain't right, is it? Will work on it. I could use a Dairy Queen Buster Bar, myself.)

Jen said...

I think it may be cooler way down here in the land of cotton. Though I have not seen a cotton field lately.