It's not about the house.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I'm Baaacck!

Here's what I learned at My (Crazy) Lady's house this week:

1. It's okay to say Crazy. Her psychiatrist did, and he's the head of the department at Mass General. If that's not authority pronouncing, then what is? Crazy!

2. No matter what the psychiatrist says, though, doubling down on all her meds and throwing in 5mg of Valium for good measure will not knock her out for the night. And when she comes creeping out into the living room in the midnight dark, you get frightened like a small child and have to fight to not throw shoes at her till she retreats. But instead you get up, take her arm, and guide her back to bed. Then she gets up again, and you steal a valium from her stash to enjoy later.

3. I'm not the kind of person who can steal a valium. The idea of it in my overnight bag got me through the longest night, but I put it back in the bottle the next morning.

4. It took three days for me to figure out that when she said she used the bathroom "comprehensively," that meant she pooed. Still not sure why she felt I had to know.

5. Crazy is just a little bit contagious. I wrote the next installment of The Schmeschminance Saga while I was over there, but it's not the most coherent thing I've ever read. I'll need a few more days of R&R before the mental and physical knots all get untied. Ugh. I've never played so much computer solitaire or eaten so many cheese-based meals in my life. So I'm not doing anything for a while.

Comprehensively speaking, that is.

In the meantime, let's have a hand for...

 Dr. One Friend!

She performed nobly in my absence, and is looking over my shoulder right now as I type this -- she even brought me a bottle of It's-All-Gone-To-Shit Champagne (although she thinks it's a celebration bottle, because I may have possibly finally finished my Big Project before I went away). But upon seeing that picture of herself, she'd decided to remind me that I gave her the password to this blog. I can't change it, because then it won't be the same as all my other passwords and I'll never be able to remember what it is.

So. If you should happen to read anything here in the future that you don't think seems up to snuff, blame her. Also, any pictures posted of a kohl-eyed, sideburned punk purporting to be me: if you don't think it's pretty, then it ain't.


Janice said...

Oh what a fantastic photo! I bet that makes it onto a few more blogs...

oldgreymare said...


I recently went from following about 30 blogs to only following 10, yours being one of the 10. Thank God I have good taste.

But really now, I am very nervous these days getting ready for a big Holiday show, so you could ya hurry and finish the story already?

And in case nobody else noticed I did, and congrats on maybe finishing the big project....been waiting on that too.

You're such a tease!


12ontheinside said...

Sounds to me like you could have used one or two of those valiums. :)