Here's the digital camera I bought yesterday that didn't work....JPG)
Oh lovely. I'm very good at this. And seriously, now that I've agreed to play this game, the dial-up has got to go.
Can you hear me being dragged kicking and screaming into the modern age?
You would have been proud of me when I bought that camera. I knelt in the store (because for some reason all the digital cameras were at knee-level — and what is that about? Are toddlers their target market? Am I at the technological level of a two-year-old? Well fine then, goo.). I read the labels. I compared the products and thought about what I might need as far as functions go in digital cameras. Take pictures, check. Put them on the computer, check. What's this? Oh, yeah, the screen to view them in, that might come in handy, check. But how do I— what kind of batteries do I need? What's an SD card?
Got it all. Got it all figured out and got it all gathered (camera, SD card and rechargeable batteries, with charger, came to $80 all together), and was headed for the checkout when I overheard a woman offering to buy her kid a Dora the Explorer camera. And I thought: what do I care what my camera looks like? Maybe Dora's cheaper...
So I went back to the left end of the knee-rack where I'd seen the baby stuff, and that's when I spied the black little $20 beauty above. Didn't need an SD card, didn't need a battery (well, did, but came with one). Probably a piece of shit, I realized, but probably good for twenty dollars worth until I figured out what it was I really needed — because I know me and I know the eighty bucks I was about to spend was going down the drain soon anyway.
Do you know me, though? Can you guess what I'm about to say?
Got it home, installed the software, turned it on, aimed it at my sleeping cat... and watched the little fucker beep one time and die. The camera, that is, not the cat. The cat has never beeped — but then, the cat has never died yet, either. So.
That battery it came with (camera again, of course) was rechargeable but not recharged, and the piece of shit didn't come with a recharger. And, because I'd spent so long (for that one time in my whole entire life) examining every single item on the shelves, I knew the store I'd been to didn't carry the recharger for this particular machine. For a twenty-dollar piece of shit, I was really going to shop around to find one? So of course I threw the camera in frustration, and of course when it hit the wall a little piece went flying, so now of course I can't return the damn thing either.
Johnny kissed me once and said he loved me before he ran off to the pub. Brave man for hazarding that much.
Can you hear me being dragged kicking and screaming into the modern age?
You would have been proud of me when I bought that camera. I knelt in the store (because for some reason all the digital cameras were at knee-level — and what is that about? Are toddlers their target market? Am I at the technological level of a two-year-old? Well fine then, goo.). I read the labels. I compared the products and thought about what I might need as far as functions go in digital cameras. Take pictures, check. Put them on the computer, check. What's this? Oh, yeah, the screen to view them in, that might come in handy, check. But how do I— what kind of batteries do I need? What's an SD card?
Got it all. Got it all figured out and got it all gathered (camera, SD card and rechargeable batteries, with charger, came to $80 all together), and was headed for the checkout when I overheard a woman offering to buy her kid a Dora the Explorer camera. And I thought: what do I care what my camera looks like? Maybe Dora's cheaper...
So I went back to the left end of the knee-rack where I'd seen the baby stuff, and that's when I spied the black little $20 beauty above. Didn't need an SD card, didn't need a battery (well, did, but came with one). Probably a piece of shit, I realized, but probably good for twenty dollars worth until I figured out what it was I really needed — because I know me and I know the eighty bucks I was about to spend was going down the drain soon anyway.
Do you know me, though? Can you guess what I'm about to say?
Got it home, installed the software, turned it on, aimed it at my sleeping cat... and watched the little fucker beep one time and die. The camera, that is, not the cat. The cat has never beeped — but then, the cat has never died yet, either. So.
That battery it came with (camera again, of course) was rechargeable but not recharged, and the piece of shit didn't come with a recharger. And, because I'd spent so long (for that one time in my whole entire life) examining every single item on the shelves, I knew the store I'd been to didn't carry the recharger for this particular machine. For a twenty-dollar piece of shit, I was really going to shop around to find one? So of course I threw the camera in frustration, and of course when it hit the wall a little piece went flying, so now of course I can't return the damn thing either.
Johnny kissed me once and said he loved me before he ran off to the pub. Brave man for hazarding that much.
So anyway I went back again today prepared to spend that $80 after all. The three things I'd picked out (camera, SD, batteries) were right on the floor where I'd abandoned them in favor of my bad decision (which at this point I really ought to just say "decision" and let the "bad" part be implied), so I picked them up — but wait. The recharger/batteries combo I'd selected didn't come with an adapter to plug it in. Huh. And, now that I look, there are two AA batteries in this pack and two AAA. What kind of batteries does this camera require, anyway? Three, it turns out, AAA.
Well, good thing I didn't waste my time!
I decided to spend just five dollars on non-rechargeable, regular-old AAAs, because at least when they turned out to be wrong I could at least use them in the TV remote or something. But in the end this bastard wasn't such a failure, as evidenced above.
So. Here's the digital camera I bought today that does work....
Hm, well, guess I can't exactly show that to you, can I?
Tune in tomorrow (if I don't have a stroke first) for some pictures of my (honest to god) house...
Tune in tomorrow (if I don't have a stroke first) for some pictures of my (honest to god) house...
1 comment:
My sympathies. Did you consider the $20 one-time use digital from CVS, or the like (25 images, then you toss it (no pun intended. weeelll, maybe there was)- at least as a practice tool?
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