I finished cleaning the whole closet, and I'm working on a really good post about some pants, but Dr. One Friend arrived yesterday afternoon so I've put it on hold. Between us we have one hundred and sixty-five pounds of enthusiastic dog, and that doesn't make for an atmosphere very conducive to the craft.* So I'll let you in on my pants when she goes home.
In the meantime, here's a punchline from Johnny's medicine chest that I've been ruminating on for quite a while, and am now officially giving up on finding a way to turn it into a whole story:
It's a nose-hair trimmer.
*"The craft" -- ha! How d'you like them apples? Like what I do takes some kind of practice or skill or shit. Boy, am I blowing smoke up my own ass or what? All I do is throw a thesaurus at a fart joke or two and go back to bed. Look, I'll show you: see that white box under the Device? Hemorrhoidal unguent. Yeah, that's right: unguent.
But because I love you I'll give you a second tip for nothing: whatever you do, do not click on the Wikipedia entry for hemorrhoids.
There isn't a thesaurus in the world big enough to throw at that.
5 comments:
oh OH OH, you KNEW we couldn't resist- You knew! OH OH OH. I can't stop seeing it...my eyes! my eyes!
Suzan
You MADE me look! So gross! Only ever had 1 in my life and thought I was dying!
I've been hanging around here for awhile now; I had no trouble refraining from clicking on that link. :)
Suzan and Jake -- I've no idea what you're talking about. Whatever do you mean?
Robert -- Aha, grasshopper, I have taught you well... You want to know what's really funny? Dr. One Friend was sitting here at my very desk when she read it. She said, out loud, "I am not clicking on that link." And then she clicked.
I have been tricked like this before. I want to, but did not click on that link. :)
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