I Dare Say It Even Gave a Merry Toot

Why won't EGE write, still?

Because I farted, okay? 

I slipped on the ice -- not bad, just a few degrees off vertical, I didn't even almost fall -- but my every muscle instinctively tensed to right myself. And when I say my every muscle, I mean my every one. It was the musical kind, too:  

Twee!

Good thing there was nobody around, because I giggled like a mad woman while I walked the final block.