It's not about the house.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ten Things To Fight About Instead of Fighting About Money

1. Money

2. Dinner.

If you try hard enough, you can find a new way to do this every night. Try taking turns reading from the following list!
Sunday: This pork roast is freezer burned and somehow that’s your fault.
Monday: Why are you defrosting hamburgers when there’s leftover pork in the fridge?
Tuesday: I don’t want tofu but I didn’t see the need to mention that before we went and bought and prepared all the ingredients to go with it!
Wednesday: This soup has gone sour and somehow that’s your fault.
Thursday: Nothing. Just get drunk and skip dinner.
Friday: There’s too much food being cooked in this house!
Saturday: Leftovers.

3. Which one of you has never ever not once folded and put away so much as a single t-shirt in all the years you’ve known each other.

4. Yes, as a matter of fact I have changed the cat box, and maybe it’s your own ass you’re smelling.

5. No, as a matter of fact I lied about the cat box. We don’t have any litter and somehow that’s your fault.

6. Money.

7. Do you really have to water the garden just because we’ve had 36 consecutive hours without rain for the first time in a month?
(I’m not saying who’s on which side of this one, but I will say that it is also secretly a fight about money. We spent $60 putting that garden in and it has so far yielded a single green tomato. In addition, we pay MWRA water/sewer rates, which add up to almost $100/month when we’re watering a garden. This is never worth it, but it is even less so when it’s been raining for a month and we’re watering a single green tomato. I’m still not saying who’s on which side of this, though. Ahem.)

8. Will you please leave me alone so I can get some work done?

9. Why don’t you ever pay attention to me any more?

10. Money. We don’t have any and somehow that’s your fault.

And bonus #11:
Where do you think you’re going?


Charlie said...

at least you're not fighting about money!

beardonaut said...

I read the last one as it being my fault. I'm sorry...

ege said...

Charlie -- I know! Phew!

Beardo -- Yes. It is you. You and your damned Swedish socialism! Grr.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if I should give you aditional suggestions, or if I should write some of these down to use myself.