It's not about the house.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Stupid Teeth

I have a dentist appointment this morning. To re-do one of the fillings I had done last year. This is not the first time this has happened, but after six months or so I figured I'd written enough about my stupid teeth, and I moved on.

This is a new dentist -- well, not new today, but new in the sense of not the same one who did all these fillings the first time. She started re-doing them because one hurt when I flossed (yes! I floss! and still I'm being punished in this manner! seriously, call me Job! though at least my breath is not corrupt. not yet. anyway...). She said she'd re-do it, but my poor-people insurance wouldn't pay for it because it had been less than a year since it went in. I gave her a look and she said "oh, we won't charge you for it, I was just thinking out loud." Damn straight you won't, lady!

Don't get me wrong. I like her. And she does a good job. Certainly much better than the other girl who screwed everything up last year. But I've seen a little too much of her and I'm ready to put her out of sight and mind.

This went on for four more fillings (or maybe five, I've forgotten). Hurting when I flossed, re-doing them for free, etc. We were finally done with all of those (well, one that she re-did actually still hurts a little bit when I floss, but not so much that I can't stand it, so I haven't told her) and then a tiny little piece fell out of this one.

Well, if you want to get technical about it, a tiny little piece fell out of this one when it was brand new, but that was last year, when I was in the middle of this whole other dental thing, and I just decided not to tell anyone about it. But when I had my cleaning in September, the technician noticed.

Damn technician.

It's in my wisdom tooth, and half the reason I never told anyone the filling broke was that it was explained to me that these smart choppers of mine could be filled once, and if anything went wrong after that they'd have to be pulled. So obviously ignoring it was the best plan.

I told New Dentist when Technician called her in that I understood the situation and would really rather just wait for now and see what happened. She looked at me like I was nuts and said "I'll just re-do it. They used the white filling and they should have used the silver kind and I don't know why they did that and this wouldn't have happened if they had. We should really try re-doing it, at least. It may have to come out eventually, yes, but that process is going to be much worse for you later if you don't deal with this now."

Damn Good Dentist.

She also said, again, that the insurance wouldn't pay for it because it had been less than a year, and that she'd do it (again) for free, but I felt bad. Not enough to, you know, pay for it myself or anything, but still. She shouldn't have to do this one for free when it was (again) the other dentist who screwed up, and I knew it right away and I said nothing. So I asked the technician to check my chart and find out when it had been done the first time, and I made this appointment for after that so New, Good Dentist could finally get paid.

And that's today.

I'm out of practice with this shit. I got so used to it last year, it came to the point where I actually fell asleep once in the chair. But it's been, oh, four or five months now since I've had Novocaine, and I'm all fatooshed. Which I may have used wrong. Because I'm not Jewish. And I googled it and couldn't find it anywhere, no matter how I spelled it. Oy.

Maybe, while I'm in the dentist chair, one of you people would be kind enough to tell me what fatooshed means and how to really spell it? Leslie? Are you still out there? You're still Jewish, right? Anyone else? Anyone better at or more patient with Google than I am? Everyone better at or more patient with Google than I am?

I have a little something for the person who submits my favorite answer... I don't even care if it's the right one... Lots of times, funny's better than truthy...

(You should read that last line with a singsongy lilt, like you would say "Who wants cupcakes...?" Or, I guess, like I would say "Who wants cupcakes...?" Maybe you would just say "Who wants cupcakes!?" But you'd be wrong.)


Muddled in Minneapolis said...

I won't even have an attempt at "Fatoosh", but I am commenting to empathise. 4 or 5 of my teeth have to be done over and over again...each year..until this one reached a point where it had to be root-canalled ....and THAT's bad business. (And all of it adds to my credit card debt each time)

Neway, all the best for today, and I do hope ur able to fall asleep in the chair!

Sparkle Plenty said...

Aw, EGE! That really sucks. Don't you keep encountering, basically, The Marathon Man type of evil dentist? Can't get in on any hot contest action 'cause I'm way too stoopit lately to be funny or truthy. But, few random thoughts: 1) Fattoush is an awesomely delicious middle eastern bread salad--really, really good. 2) If fatoosh is not a yiddish expression, it should be! 3) I know it's not the word yer seekin', but "verklempt/farklempt" is always good (distraught--I think). Also: You probly had the spilkes (sp.) (were all nervy/uneasy at the prospect of hittin' the chair again)?

beardonaut said...

I've spent a lo-ho-ho-hot of time at the dentist, seeing as how I've managed to knock my front teeth out, twice (don't ask). So I sympathize. I really do.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what FatTush is but it sounds like some kind of fat bum problem.

Now what on EARTH did you do in a past life to have all these teeth issues?

DonnaStaf said...

Fatoosh- v. Fuck(ed). ie. "I was all fatooshed up."

I found it on uh, Yeah that's where I found it, yeah...

bernthis said...

Okay, I'm a Jew and I have no clue what that means. I will ask my parents tomorrow. Hmmmmm......

Joel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.