It's not about the house.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Vigorous Writing is What, Now?

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not doing so well with the writey this week. I don’t know if it’s the moon or — no, it couldn’t be the moon. The moon isn’t going to be full till Monday week.

(“Monday week” is the Irish – and maybe English, I don’t know – way of saying “the Monday after this one that’s coming up.” The phrase doesn’t make obvious sense when you first hear it, or at least it didn’t to me when I first did, but it has the benefit of being shorter and, since I am from Boston (or, well, Boston-ish), I’m a big fan of abbreviating things whenever possible. Not that you would know it from my writing. I am, after all, in the middle of a 128-word explanation of a phrase I used to save myself a mere 6. I should have just said “the Monday after this one that’s coming up” to begin with. You see? I told you: not doing so well with the writey this week.)

Well, all right then, it’s not the moon. But some sort of cyclic boogaloo is wreaking havoc with my inner sanctum, because no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to get it – intellectually-speaking, of course – so much as halfway up.

It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started having that failure dream again. The one where you’re trying to make a phone call but over and over and over again you keep hitting the 2 when you mean to dial 9? And those two keys aren’t even next to each other, so it’s not like your finger’s simply slipping. It is drawn, repeatedly and inexplicably, to the wrong end of the pad like there’s some sort of magnetic forcefield. And the person whose wrong number you keep dialing is getting really mad at you, threatening to send policemen to your house, but somehow it doesn’t occur to you to just stop trying. To put the phone down and forget about it for a while. So you keep going, more and more slowly on each go-round, punching each number with painful deliberation. And yet, every time you come up on that wretched 9…

2! Again! Argh!

You know. That dream?

So I’ve decided to communicate from now on strictly by semaphore. I figure that way I’ll be killing two birds with one stone (or one really big stick with a flag on it), because: #1. I won’t have to bother writing anything down ever, anymore, and #2…

If I do it right, I won’t have any need to use the phone.


?


Dang. Those two pictures really ought to sit next to each other, but I don’t know how.

Dang! I can’t even make with the writey when I trade in my words for flags and sticks!

If you need me for the next few days, I’ll be in the dank, dark corner. Scratching, and muttering to myself in hieroglyphic.

11 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Trust me: It's all the fault of The Shadow Blog. It's forcing you to get up in the middle of the night and sleep-blog new entries for the Shadow Blog the Shadow Blog has created. Mind-boggling, eh?

Ooh, that's a rough failure dream. My failure dreams usually involve school. It is the last day of school, and I have not been to a class I was supposed to attend all year. It is time to take a test. The dream feeling in my stomach is very much like the dream feeling in real life when I'm up against a deadly deadline.

su said...

Hey did you know, and of course you probably did, that the peace sign is derived from flaging. The N and the D standing for....... of course, Nuclear Disarmament. (or as GW would say, Nuculir Disarmament)

Jenni said...

Sparkle,
I have that failure dream. The dream where I will never finish school because I haven't been to class. It is a weird one. I didn't know anyone else had that dream. I need to look it up in a dream book.

Charlie said...

Ha! I beat you all!
I ACTUALLY registered for a class and forgot I did. And never went. And was reminded when I got a letter (back in the pre-email days) telling me when and where my final was!
Now I have an X on my transcript, which is the grade you get when you drop a class the day before the final!
True story.
P.S. EGE, what happens if you try to dial a 2?
P.P.S. Su - thanks for the info, I knew is stood for two letters, but I can never remember which.

Ladyscot said...

The phone keypad and the computer numeric keypad are upside down from each other, which would kind of put the 2 next to the 9.

su said...

Charlie, I was so enthralled when I discovered that. Really kind of neat. at least from this 60's PF

Donnastaf said...

I have that same dream about missing a class in college. It was Eng Comp 1 and they revoke my nursing license for it...

su said...

I have a dream recurring that I never graduated from anything and they finally catch up with me and discover I am a stupid ignorant fraud!

EGE said...

Ahem, people! Aren't we supposed to be talking about ME, here?

Kidding. Sorry school was so traumatic for y'all. But I gotta say: it ain't NOTHIN' compared with dialling the phone!

(On a related note: I just spent two hours trying to write something to post here this morning, but it isn't finished yet and I gotta go. Maybe this afternoon? Or else tomorrow. This afternoon or definitely tomorrow.

Help?)

Sparkle Plenty said...

EGE! I'm still blaming your writeyitis on The Shadow Blog. Are you feelin' better? I hope so!

Su--It's great to know about the origin of the peace sign. I had no idea.

Jenni--I wonder if it's a common dream? Do you have the forget-the-locker-combination dream and the I'm-in-a-school-play-and-don't-know-the-lines dream, too?

Charlie--Zounds. You beat me BIG-TIME. shudders commiseratingly

Donnastaf: You, too, huh? Oof. The nefarious English Comp 1. For me, it's usually Spanish.

theotherbear said...

Monday week is a pretty common way of describing the Monday after next here. I guess it's from all those convict English and Irish folks.