It's not about the house.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Bury Your Head in the Sand and Wait...

Before we begin, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge Ms. Soup -- who, over the past four days, through which she suffered some mysterious Canadian Summertime Sickness (which may well explain the symptom I'm about to describe), read everything I've ever written on this blog!

I think Sparkle may have recently done it, too, over the course of a couple weeks. And I know there are several of you here who've been with me from the start, lapping it one day at a time as I cough it up. You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it. I thank you all...

But eighteen months in four days, though? That's just madness!

Welcome to the nuts club, Soupie!

Now, with that important business out of the way, let's gather 'round the fire for a little game I like to call Would You Rather (but which is really called Zobmondo, and you can buy it here).

The category this week is Appearance/Embarrassment, and the question is...

Would you rather get stood up for your high school prom -- OR -- take the date of your dreams to the prom and have him or her leave with someone else?

Okay, true story time: I did not go to my senior prom. This is partly because I was a snob, and partly because I was a dork. Too snobby to go with the boy what asked me, too dorky for the boy I asked instead. Such is my life. Rather Goldilocks-ish, except I never do seem to stumble upon the just-right.

To wit: I did go to my junior prom. I wore a white, spaghetti-strap, sort of flappery dress in a size 7, which I thought was huge, with pink, plastic, rock-candy-looking costume jewelry that I thought was mint (only I pronounced it the Woostah way: mihn'). I don't remember what kind of shoes I wore. Probably four-inch spikey heels. Probably Payless. Probably pink.

My date was a friend of my sister's boyfriend. We'd been set up, of course, but on my request. I actually liked him -- until he showed up at my house in a powder blue polyester tux. With a ruffled collar. And, I shit you not, a pair of blue suede shoes.

This was in 1985! And he wasn't being ironic about it, either. Any self-respecting fashion maven knows the ironic way to go in 1985 would have lyrca leopard skin. There was, speak of the devil, one of those at this prom, too. Unfortunately it, too, was worn in earnest.

Mihn'!

Anyway, I refused to get official pictures taken. The whole stand-under-the-archway-and-hold-each-other act? I wanted no part of it. Hell, I wanted no part of my poor date after laying eyes on that mook suit he was wearing. I certainly did not want any photographic evidence of this fiasco!

(Yes, pictures had been taken at my folks' house when the boys arrived. And in the family album there are still lots of lovely photos of Big Sis in her (appropriately powder-blue) Gunny Sax with the fingerless lace gloves -- although I think her date and his tasteful gray tuxedo may have since been trimmed away. But somehow all the photographs of Mr. Blue and me came out fuzzy and smeared. I didn't do it. I wouldn't have known how to do it if I tried. My best guess is that somewhere in my wicked, miserable youth, I must have done something good.)

So... what was the question? Oh, right: would I rather.

Well, of the given choices (which, in case you forgot, were: get stood up for your prom or take the date of your dreams and have them leave with someone else), I would totally rather get stood up.

Oh, yeah, no question. I'd much prefer to sit at home and cry -- even if it meant throwing up all down the front of my pretty white dress (something else I've actually done, but we'll save that story for another time) -- than to have to watch my Dirty Boy slow-dancing with that slut.

Your turn: What would you rather do?

20 comments:

Khurston said...

Ahem. Excuse me. That's WICKED mint.
This is a toughie. My 40 year old self says F Him, I'd rather go to the party and spend his money at the bar, have a blast with my BFFs, and spread malicious gossip about the ho he left with. But thinking about the high school girl - I think SHE would prefer less public humiliation and stay home.
You know what? She can suck it up. The mature version will make a better story in 2o years. Sorry kid.

EGE said...

Yeah, I was only thinking about the high school girl because -- well, I hope, anyway -- she would be the one actually going to the prom.

Also? No bar.

Khurston said...

Oh, well, I meant ICE CREAM bar I guess.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Stood up! The high school kid woulda been crouched in a fetal position under a study carrel in the town library, anyhow. She wouldn't have even noticed being stood up. She probably wouldn't have realized she had a date.

Anonymous said...

I guess technically I WAS stood up -- the one boy I asked (and the only one I was really interested in going with) had already asked one of the junior girls, and none of the other boys asked me. My best friend offered me her brother, but no thanks -- her brother was a freshman, and going stag to the prom was a whole lot less embarrassing than going with her brother! I guess she agreed, because she was the only other person who went stag to the prom...

Thankfully, those days are long gone!

EGE said...

Oh, honey, that's not stood up. You're just choosy. Stood up is when he says yes (or asks you and you say yes) and you buy a dress and go get your hair and makeup done and put on your pretty dress with stockings and everything, and then your whole family waits and waits and waits for the doorbell to ring but it never does, so your dad dances with you in the living room and your mom makes you your favorite dinner but you don't eat it, and then she helps you out of your dress and runs a bath for you, then they all pretend not to hear you cry yourself to sleep.

And it's STILL better than watching Dirty Boy slow-dancing with that SLUT!!!

soup said...

thank you for the official and generous welcome, ege! i should be called “soupie” from now on. it is way more girlie than “soup,” which in truth sounds like a boy-food. (if foods were being assigned genders, that is.) can i change that on my profile? no, seriously? can i?

what was the question again? oh, right! if i had to choose one or the other, i would choose going and watching my dream date take-off with someone else so that my friends and i could cry, talk about what an incredible a-hole he was (and how i was better off without him), talk about what an incredible slut she was (and pick-apart her physical appearance), re-apply (make-up and hairspray), and head off to the nearest trashy bar in our prom finery, dance the night away to ACDC (and/or equivalent), and hopefully find someone new to spend the summer with. that’s how we rolled. (to quote, ummm, i’m not just sure who.) to “get dumped” before you even make it out the door would be worse. the logic being, every time you opened your bedroom closet, “the dress” would be there mocking you on two fronts: first, the fact that its prom-potential was never realized (as in: you missed out on the party, and thus being seen in it), and second, all the money you spent for nothing (as in: where the hell else are you going to wear it?).

i’ve put way too much thought into this. i fully blame my on-going mystery canadian summertime sickness, with blog-reading side-effects.

EGE said...

Okay, but I reiterate:

I don't know what the drinking age in Canadia is, but here in North America...

There is no BAR-GOING in your PROM DRESS, because you are FIFTEEN YEARS OLD!!!

Ahem. You people. Don't you believe I would have thought of that option already?

Sheesh.

(Boy, though, I'm very arguey today, amn't I? Maybe I still have raw feelings about this subject.

Next week: Food Ingestion!)

Chris... said...

Who cares! High school sucked, The only ones who had fun at the prom were the "popular kids" and they were all a bunch of donkeys. Of course now when you see one of the "popular kids" they are more then likely a sad pathetic loser. How sad to have high school be the apex, enjoy the prom it's all downhill from here.

soup said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
soup said...

i deleted the post. spelling error. i admit it.

ummm, well… in canada (at least where and when i grew up) there was no prom until you graduated from high school, and we graduated in grade 13 back then. (there’s no grade 13 in ontario anymore, for those of you keeping score.) i was 19 when i graduated, and 19 was (and still is) the legal drinking age here… so… i stand by my choice. [note: choice is only valid in ontario, canada]

pork luck said...

stood up. for sure. stood up.

braveheart said...

I wore a blue tux to my junior prom, and I had a pretty girl on my arm in the photo. She was a brain/nerd/dork like me, and played a mean piano. Her parents made her take classical piano lessons for ten years, then as a high school senior, she joined our blues/rock group. Boy, could she wail on the ivories. I wonder where she is today.

EGE said...

Chris -- Yeah, yeah, we all feel that way now, but you still didn't anser the question!

Soupie -- Dang. You win. I wish I grew up in Canadia.

Porkie -- I won't say you're right, but...

Braveheart -- Long time no hear! What I meant to say was: Blue tuxes rock! What year did you wear yours?

cake said...

I'd rather get stood up. No question about it, really.

I went to my prom with the boyfriend of the time and it was miserable...the story is too long to tell here. Suffice to say that crying at home would've been a lot more fun.

There's maybe a blog in this...maybe. ::grins in a sorta sad way::

p.s.
Soupie! We're on the same page...one prom and that was OAC, aka. grade 13. Kids these days only have to do four years of high school! Sheesh. I used to have to walk to school in bare feet over broken glass...uphill both ways! ::grins::

DonnaStaf said...

How's this. Both of my senior prom dates wore blue tuxes (1978). I had a date for the prom and one after the prom. And oh yeah, date at the prom took off with someone else. He was my old boyfriend. My new BF had a date that already bought a dress and I wouldn't let him officially "dump" her until after she got to wear the dress. But would I rather be stood up? No WAY! Being abandoned at the prom wasn't so bad, I got to socialize with more people I think.

iloveupstate.com said...

I went stag to my prom. PLEASE don't tell me that's NOT shocking.

Sparkle Plenty said...

That IS shocking!

theotherbear said...

I would rather go and have my date go off with someone else. I wasn't sure until I read the description of dancing in the loungeroom with your dad and not eating your fave dinner and crying. Oh yikes, that made my heart bleed a bit.

su said...

My Dad would have been appoplectic if I got stood up, Mom made all of my gowns. Our big brother actually went for a neighborhood walk to check on my big sister's prom date who was late. He came home and reported he could see him in his bedroom mirror primping! Now that is a "family Affair"
PS Technically we have grade 13 in MA as we have a mandatory Kindergarten which comes befor grade one.