It's not about the house.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Face Down at the White Horse

Do you want to know what's fun? Campfires on the beach.

Want to know what's funny? Johnny, a couple dozen beers into beachy-campfire goodness, trying to wander off into the dark to have a quiet pee. He can't get his beach legs, keeps losing his footing and toppling into the sand with every step. With every step. Step left, fall to the left. Much turtley scrambling. Step right, fall to the right. More turtley scrambling. Repeat, ad infinitum.

But you know what's not fun? Trying to help him and getting taken down yourself. Repeat, sand in-Erin's-bum.

And, last but not least, do you know what isn't funny? When -- the above mission somehow finally accomplished -- Johnny discovers that he's lost his matches and decides to light a cigarette directly from the blaze. He's got the damn butt in his mouth and he's bent over with his sand-scraped face inching dangerously towards the flames, when Gerry suddenly notices what he's up to and grabs him by the seat of his pants.*

So the moral of this story is: it pays to practice drinking a lot even after you have kids. You never know when those parental instincts might get called into play.



*Needless to say, this is also more or less how Johnny managed to get back to the beach house that night: with Gerry's help, and by the seat of his pants.

8 comments:

soup said...

gerry sounds like good peoples!

Stephanie said...

Ah, see, the trick is to put a branch into the fire, which can then be used as a "lighter", before being returned to the fire. This saves eyebrows, other facial hair, and whole bodies from charring, if used properly. Good thing the rest of you were there to save him!

PS - regarding statements in last post...can blogger write content for me as well, posting when appropriate? That's what I struggle with lately!

su said...

stephanie, We call it a poop stick!

EGE said...

Oh no, Subie, that's not what the poop stick's for!

beardonaut said...

Now there's a script for an episode of the TV show called "The House and I" if I ever read one. Excellent stuff.

su said...

Well "at Maine" that is what we refer to as a poop stick. I never really did learn the rest of the story.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of brain freeze / frosting (or at one time) OMG! http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080723/FEATURES02/807230352/1027

HPH

EGE said...

Frosting shots! Frosting shots! Moommm!!!! I wants a frosting shot!