It's not about the house.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Can't Stop, Sorry!

Hey, everybody, it's Would You Rather day!

Only -- argh! Now that I’ve given myself permission to skip the stupid questions, they all seem stupid and I can’t stop flipping through the stack in search of a better one. (I don't want to hear a single lousy crack about the indecisive promiscuity that that entails.) So here’s what I’m going to do: find my favorite comment from this past week, and pose the first question I come across that starts with the same letter as that person’s name. Ready? Here I go, off to peruse your pithy posts…

Okay I'm back. And the winner is: Chris! Because “house goiters” is both funny, original, and mildly disgusting, all while being manifestly not a poo joke – of which lord knows we have more than our fair share around here as it is. (Although, don’t get me wrong, this is not a hint that that's going to change. You may rest assured: at The House and I, there will be poo.)

Now, let’s not forget that the game is really called Zobmondo, and you can buy it here. If you’re going to play you have to choose one or the other of the choices given – you can’t say “neither” or come up with a third option. Wild speculation as to the interpretation of the wording of the question, however, is most certainly allowed. Because who really does know what the definition of the word “is” is, after all?

Okay? Gather ’round!

The category is Ethics/Intellect (my favorite!) and the question is: Would you rather…

Constantly relive the three best days of your life until you die – OR – live just one more year starting today?

Oh man. I have big hopes for this next year. But then, I had big hopes for this past year, too, and look how well that turned out for me. Are we assuming the three best days of my life already happened? Do I get to choose them? Or could it be some speculative future best days that I get to make up? Could I be skinny in them? How long would I live? Would I know I was living the same three days over and over again, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day – or would I be more like Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates? If I could be Drew Barrymore, then I’d probably choose that. But then again, I’d probably choose whatever option would let me be Drew Barrymore, even if it meant drinking from the fishtank and the toilet water, so that’s not really fair.

All right, I’ll start over. Theoretically, I see that living the same days over and over again – even if for a hundred and fifty years, and no matter how fantabulous they are – isn’t really "living" in the existential sense. But when I so much as contemplate choosing to die in one short year I feel myself fixing to hyperventilate, even though I know it’s just pretend.

So my answer is this: if I have to make the choice and then carry it out knowing that I made the choice, I choose the three-day option. After all, I could always off myself if I got bored. But if it were to be just spontaneously magicked down and I’d have no idea, I’d choose the year.

And now I’d best get back to writing, just in case.

For the record: I wrote this before Jenni told me she got shushed at the library for laughing out loud at the house poop. Otherwise, she just might have won, and we'd be answering a question about ... about ... well, I can't seem to find a J-starting question right this second. And since I don't have to, I'm going to stop looking.


cake said...

The best three days of my life would never be as special if I had to relive them (thinking of the movie Ground Hog Day, here), though I'd be tempted because they were oh so good...I'd have to pick the one year of life.

Knowing I only had a year to live might push me into doing some things I've been dragging my feet about...maybe.

amanda said...

I would pick the best 3 days. I've had a few pretty damn good days lately.

HPH said...

Yes, what determines the ‘best’ three days? Would it be some other mortal’s opinion or your own opinion? I don’t want it to be a disillusioned opinion like ‘the day my child was born was the best day of my life’. Well, that child musta been born at 12:01 am. What about all those hours of excruciating pain; the screaming at everyone in sight; the calling the father of that precious child every name in the book except Big Daddy?
I have had entire years that sucked. Yes. The. Entire. Year. Take 2002. If I had another year like 2002 I would be all, “’Lisbeth, it’s the big one. It’s the big one, ‘Lisbeth. Take me, take me now.” Pleeeeeeeeease take me now. Knowing that it was my last year alive and having it all end with a year like that? Too much pressure. Plus how would you die? Long, lingering illness? Instantaneously? Too much pressure.
So, even if I remembered the three days over and over and over again and eventually became bored, I would have to pick the 3 days over *pressure*.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Oh, man! hph's comment is hilarious. Can you pick "H" for hph next week?!

This question is surprisingly tough for me. Here's the sappy thing that's on my mind: My mom's b'day was yesterday, and she's not around anymore. At the moment, I'd love to have three really happy days from the past with her. But, here again, you can't pick 'em. With my luck, one of the days I'd relive would be a day from my surly adolescence (something I'd pay large coin never to even have knowledge of, let alone relive) when I came up with a sassy reply to my mom and was unseemly happy about my own wit (I was deluded, as well as pimply).

So. I'm going to go with the year.

Unless...Nope. I guess 50 awesome years with all the knots unknotted and all the people I love and have loved around isn't an option.

Rats. Where do I write my letter of complaint to the maker of this game? :-)

sinisterdan said...

I could very easily see reliving the same three kinds of days over and over, but not three specific days.

The boredom would be crushing.

beardonaut said...

I'll go with the three best days over and over. Why? Cause they were awesome, and I could go all Groundhog on their ass and mix it up, changing them over and over and over.

Not an easy choice though. But doable.

soup said...

i think i would want to do the three day thing, only because i wouldn't want to know that i've only got a year to live. that would waste 365 days in a lot of ways.