It's not about the house.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Arr! Ack! No!

Johnny and I go away for one little weekend in the woods, and look what we come home to:


(In case you didn't notice it yourself, may I point out the light switch on the right there? Just, you know, for size comparison?)

I'd like you to know I killed that bastard with my own two hands. And I'd like you to be proud of me. Because it actually took two hands to do it, plus a kitchen towel. And I'm not apologizing for the kitchen towel, either. I couldn't very well run the risk of him punching through the wad of toilet paper that was my only other option, could I?

Or, well, I suppose that wasn't my only other option. I suppose I could have smacked his ass flat with a boot. But then I would've risked taking away the single useful function left in that sliding glass door -- namely: keeping the raindrops on the outside -- and with it any last shred of remaining dignity left to the AssVac as a whole. Not to mention the creature-from-hell guts he'd surely have left all over my nice white drapery.

Anyway, it appears the annual invasion has begun. In fact, come to think of it, that not-so-little fucker looks familiar. Hm. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did I not declare that particular mission accomplished once already? Do you think maybe this one was hiding in a cave or something? Or do you think maybe my initial success just made the fringe bugs angry and now I'm dealing with a whole new second (or fourth) wave of insurgency?

Ah, well. Who cares? Either way, my friends, it's freakin' on.


beardonaut said...

Ehm...earwigs suck more than spiders, but spiders are still the Spawn of Satan.

We live on the fifth floor and don't get a lot of bugs (knock on Beard) other than the occasional bumblebee that makes it up here (I like bumblebees) or wasps. And when they manage to get up here it just shows that they're really persistent little fuckers that need swift killin'. The wasps that is, not the bumblebees.

Anyway, I hope you killed it good.

su said...

And the crickets are coming inside too! I can hear one right now.