It's not about the house.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Would You Rather...

...be able to read everyone's mind all the time, or always know their future?


This is a toughie. Hearing all the thoughts that swirl around could surely drive a girl insane pretty darn quick. All those accents, first of all! And the setting everything to a little tune. Not to mention the insecurities and the psychotic ramblings, and the random, never-to-be-fulfilled, spontaneous desires -- whether of the jumping-on-a-stranger or -in-front-of-a-bus variety...

As if it didn't go without saying at this point, my own thoughts keep me plenty busy, thanks.

On the other hand (and here is where my occasional and shocking altruism rears its inconvenient head), if I had to see  what lay in store for every single person I ran into, I'd feel obliged to become some sort of superhero/preacher on constant spoiler alert -- warning strangers of the consequences of their every minute decision:

"You don't want eat that supermarket sushi!"

"Take the bus today, just trust me!"

"He has CRABS!"

(Yes, that last one I probably would holler at those decibels. I've never had crabs, myself, but I almost did. And, as a preventive measure, I took the cure. It ain't no fun, I tell you what. So if I were a superhero I think I'd make crabby (becrabbed?) people my bete noire.)

Anyhoo, it's also true that, in seeing people's futures, you might get to see some things that are good. Prizes won, professional success, certain hated houses burning down, the births of lots of babies (if you like that sort of thing, or the non-births of lots of no-babies if you don't) -- maybe just a really good night's sleep for a change, or that long-awaited, elusive, healthy poo. These are all good tidings, tidings I'd be thrilled to be the bearer of.

Although, when they say you'd "know" their future, do you suppose that means you'd actually see it? Hm...

Because those last few tidings that I listed, I'm really not so sure I'd want to watch.

You're up! What would you rather do?

8 comments:

su said...

Ok I'll jump in here.... I say kow the future.... Could say.. no no don't buy that scratch card! Buy this one

churchlady said...

Your blog is so funny ! I try to check in everyday and see how everything is with you two. I've posted a "Fast Facts on Humpday" post on my blog and I'm tagging you to do the same !

http://churchlady.typepad.com/daily/2008/09/fast-facts-on-humpday.html

Have a Wonderful Day !

EGE said...

Okay, Churchlady, I'll play! I might not get to it until tomorrow, but I'll timestamp it for 11:59 p.m. tonight, so it still counts.

PS Thanks for checking in! When things calm down around here I'll go back to reporting on actual events inside the AssVac.

Audrey said...

I would choose mind-reading over knowing everyone's fate. It would just be soooo depressing all the time to know what is going to actually happen next. More interesting to know what people THINK is going to happen next.

Close call with the crabs thing though. Ugh.

Khurston said...

i think i'd rather be a future teller. less stuff to clutter up my brain. i don't have room to hear what everyone is thinking, that would make me bonkers. and then i could find out where elvis really is.

DonnaStaf said...

I think the future would be better for one's mental health. Kept thinking about Mel Gibson's character in "What Women Want" and then what happened to him afterward...Must've been all those voices.

HPH said...

I dunno. I can imagine hearing some girl in a Vera Wang skin-tight sheath and Jim Choo 4-inch heels ask if they ‘made her butt look big’ and then hearing the guys thot of ‘bigger than a boxcar’ which would make me burst out laughing and probably get me in trouble. Plus, did they not see “Bruce Almighty”? I already have way too many random thoughts crowding my own in my brain space without it being invaded by other persons’ thoughts. It would make me go crazy.
Same deal as you. If I knew an action was gonna mess up their future, I would sooo want to tell them -- little Tommy, do not stick your wet finger in that socket; Mother-of-seven, do not have sex with that man; Runaway, do not stow away on the Titanic, etc. I would be all Dr. Emmitt Brown, running around in circles repeating ‘Self, you must not interfere with the future, you must not interfere with the future’. It would make me go crazy.
Wait, if both of them would make me go crazy, I’ll take the one with the pretty flowers.

amanda said...

I would like to read everyone's thoughts. Imagine the fun you could have with that. Plus, I tune out people's real conversations all the time, so I am sure I could tune out the voices in my head. Er, I mean other people's thoughts.