It's not about the house.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Longest Yard

My yard looks like this:

Except there isn't really a flag at the corner of it. That was a mistake.

My house is here:

My house is blue because my house is blue. It won't be for long. But then, I thought it wouldn't be by now, so who knows. Maybe it will always be this way. And that bump there? Let's just say that it's the chimney.

There are big old silver maples here, here and here:

And a really giant one back here:

It's really giant. That's the one that threw the branch through the roof that made the house rot so we would be the only suckers dumb enough to buy it. I love it anyway. The tree, I mean. It's really giant. As you can see.

There are (I think) beech trees here and here:

They are black like death. That's why I'm not sure what kind of trees they are. They have no leaves. No branches, either. Just bare trunks with little tufts of greenery at the very tippy top. Like giant q-tips. Someday those trees are going to have to come down before they fall. And smash the AssVac. God forbid.

There are also two very tiny apple trees, here and here:

We planted them last year. This dogwood, too:

It's red because it's a red dogwood. But not quite as red as an apple. Though the apple trees aren't exactly red their ownselves, either, are they? Especially not this year, seeing as how they didn't bother to bear fruit. Maybe the black-death beeches scared them fruitless.

So those are all the trees I have. Oh, and my clothesline runs here:

Can you see it? I made it grey because I couldn't make it white like it really is. Except for that it's probably, actually, really pretty grey by now. I never checked.

So that's my yard!


If I used those trees to hang up great big nets -- like so:

And so and so:

And so and so:

Do you think I could get away with not raking the yard?

I think I could.

But how would I get the nets down?


MD said...

I think they would fall down and bring the trees with them so you better put a big fence over assvac

Prudence Wannabee said...

I think that if you spent as much time raking leaves as you did drawing pictures you would be done by now!

EGE said...

Hey! They didn't fall yet! I'm just planning ahead!

cake said...

I think it's a solid plan and I expect pictures when you implement it, please!

Chaya said...

I sympathize. Though I have not your artistic talent, I will I will still attempt a representational example.

If H is my house and o is a 100' tall oak tree, my previous house was

o o o o o o
o o o o o
o o o o o o
o o o o o
o o o o o o
o o o o o
o o HHHHH o o
o o HHHHH o o
o o HHHHH o o
o o HHHHH o o
o o o o
m m m

(the m's are sweet bay magnolias and the ------ is the road)

OK, slight exaggeration but not by much. The area was called "Oak Orchard" after all. We had to do leaf cleanup once or twice a week for a good 6 weeks, and if we let it go a full week there would be a totally solid 4-6" thick cover of leaves on the ground -- more than a week, and it was impossible to run the mower over them to mulch them first.

After that, our measly 4 old maples seems like nothing.

Chaya said...

well poop. It didn't line up nice and pretty and symmetrical like it did when I typed it. Just use your imagination.

Chaya said...

And, uh... I meant to say that isn't our house now, that's the house we lived in before this one.

OK, I'll stop spamming your comment box now.

Shannon said...

Gorgeous illustrations. Did you figure out what type of trees they are?