A Rude Awakening

Johnny's alarm is going off and off and off, and he shows no signs of moving. I always determine not to do anything about it when this happens, but eventually I always do. That sound can drive a lady bats!

5:53 I finally switched it. Johnny spoke to me, but I don't think he's up. Me, I've been up for an hour, spilling coffee all over my fresh clean desk.

For two days I've been out of coffee, desperately microwaving the slop pitcher in the fridge where I pour the leftovers every morning (and never actually get around to making them into iced coffee later). I know that sounds disgusting, but trust me: it really, truly is. I've just been too wrapped up in my face these days to remember to buy more when the store is actually open. Because I can only get my Very Special Coffee at the Asian market, and the Asian Market keeps old-fashioned hours.

Yesterday, however, even the slop-pot ran out, and so I went. And this morning, being out of practice, I poured hot coffee all across my desk. Didn't get any on the keyboard, though. So that's something.

Oh and also? When I woke up at quarter to five, I noticed a big white van parked in our driveway. I don't drive a big white van...

So in the short time that Johnny was saying words a few minutes ago (I hesitate to use the word "awake"), I asked him if he knew why there was a big white van in our driveway.

"John B." he said.

Oh. I went to bed early with a big pill and my owie tooth. Johnny must have wandered up the pub, and John B. must have needed a place to crash.

"Did you guys have a good time last night? Is he in the guest room? Good thing I didn't walk out with no pants on!"

"I don't know," says Johnny. "I didn't see John B. last night."

Um... huh. So how do we know that it's his van in the driveway?

"Who else do we know who drives a big white van?"

Nobody. But how do we know it's somebody we know?

The guest room's empty. I checked. But I ain't checkin' anywhere else without my husband by my side.

Hey, Johnny! WAKE UP!!!!