It's not about the house.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Invasion Continues

Sunday, p.m.
Spotted: 1 nickel-sized spider
Location: Bedroom curtain (sliding-glass door)
Outcome: Whacked with New Yorker, fell behind cushions of love seat. Cushions squashed and punched repeatedly. Unwilling to investigate further. New Yorker burned.

Monday, a.m.
Spotted: Silver-dollar-sized arachnid
Location: Master bedroom en suite shower floor
Outcome: Squished with wad of toilet paper, folded up, and flushed. Definitely deceased. An ex-arachnid.

Monday p.m.
Spotted: What's the gigantic-est coin ever minted in the history of minting coins? Well, then that-sized eight-legged freak.
Location: Shoulder of one of Johnny's shirts, on a hanger in the bedroom closet.
Outcome: Whacked with sports section of Monday's Boston Globe, fell into pile of shoes. Pile of shoes squished and kicked and stepped on repeatedly. Unwilling to investigate further. (Also unwilling to relinquish sports section until finished reading about how "no NFL team in recent memory has played a game as well from start to finish as New England did Sunday night. " Creature not found in sports section. Creature must be afraid of Tedy Bruschi.)

Just now:
Spotted: Worsted-weight web, size of a serving platter. A Christmas serving platter.
Location: Inside bedroom window.
Outcome: None yet, but sensing pattern. Unwilling to sleep in MBR tonight. Considering swallowing bird. Or Tedy Bruschi.


Miss Muffet said...

could be worse....

Stephanie said...

But...If the spiders are setting up camp, and you are killing the spiders...what have they been feeding on?

Y'might need those spiders!

EGE said...

Yeesh, on both counts!

md said...

This is the time of year they always come inside. You could barracade the cats and set off a insect bomb. Use the giant swatter on the giant arachnids

Poppo said...

BOMB THE BASTIDS!!!!! Lock the cats in the front porch and BOB THE BASTIDS!!!! Six or seven spray bombs should do it. one in each room and two in the cellar and one in the crawl space, OK, I guess that is 9 but they are cheap. DO IT!!!!! (but what would write about if you killed tham all???)