It's not about the house.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Not The Winner, Part 9

theotherbear said...


This one was hard -- assuming that that question mark was asking for a shot of him, and not just wondering who this "Johnny" person was.

Now, I happen to have taken one or two with the old camera of which I'm rather fond.

But those are old, and this whole series is supposed to be about the new.

I tried to capture him on Wednesday morning, when Andy was here. They were heading down to his house to do some long-awaited painting and therefore, try as I might, I could not get him to stand still.

Johnny, that is. Andy was more than thrilled to strike a pose.

I don't even think he'd had a drink yet. Oh, and look what he brought with him this time!

That was before I figured out how to work the camera-zoom, but you get the idea. Those deLites are gone, now. Which is another way of saying that my teeth are working fine.

So, since all I had were running-around shots of Johnny in a dirty, get-ready-for-painting t-shirt, I decided to dig up the old pictures of him when he was a Golden Boy. For comparison's sake. Before and after, like. But I couldn't find them.

I looked everywhere, for about three hours, and then Johnny looked some more after I went off to work. They're gone. Even though they really have to be here somewhere, because I don't think somebody broke in to the AssVac just to steal some pictures of my Golden Boy. But we simply cannot find them. I'm more upset about this than I might sound, because -- from the moment he was born until about three years after we met -- these are the only pictures that exist of Johnny. Being the youngest of thirteen doesn't exactly put you first in line for the Kodak Moments, if you know what I'm saying.

What I did find, though, are these:

The hardware to the living room windows that I stripped two years ago! That shit had gone flat missing, and I was beginning to convince myself I'd thrown it out. It was in the top left drawer of the buffet in the dining room. For safekeeping, I'd imagine. So it would not get, you know, lost.

I also discovered that the trunk on which I keep my computer is not just full of Johnny's art supplies, as previously believed. I discovered that, if you remove the tray of art supplies, you find all the decorative household doo-dads you've been pondering the whereabouts of since the day that you moved in four years ago. Well, okay, maybe not so much the day you moved. Maybe more like for a year or so, since you finished unpacking. Or so you thought.

Then this happened:

And so I shut the trunk.

Technically, then, I did not search everywhere. There is still hope that those pictures I'm looking for are in there under the cat. But for now you're going to have to settle for Himself (meaning Johnny) as he is.

In motion.

With a dirty shirt.

And you people wonder why I won't post pictures of myself...


Leslie said...

The handsome irishman! And you are just as capable of posting a pic of yourself as you are of Johnny, young lady.

su said...

ooooooh the hooked rug you made, I saw it in the trunk and I love that part of you.

Charlie said...

Maybe you will also find the gnome’s hidden stash of underpants in your search for pictures.

Ladyscot said...

I hope you didn't shut the trunk with the cat in it! No, you wouldn't do that.
Carmel Delights (or Samoa's as they are called by the other baker) my favorites! But I didn't think they were out yet as the gils are just now taking orders.

EGE said...

Leslie -- Johnny says: "A lesbian thinks I'm handsome? Whoa!"

Su (a.k.a. Mom) -- Ahh, the '70s... Hooked-rug and string-art crafty-heaven. Also, pooka shells!

Charlie -- Hm. Hadn't thought of that. If I do find them, though, I'll throw them out.

Ladyscot -- Long time no hear! No, I didn't shut the trunk with the cat in it, but I did intentionally leave in the implication. On a related note (you figure out how it's related): I tried to find an official picture of those cookies before deciding to post one of my own, and in my search I discovered that the name had been changed from Samoas to Caramel deLites for "politically correct" reasons. I'm still trying to figure out what's politically incorrect about Samoa. Except The Rock, and maybe a couple football players... said...

Johnny's cute -- but he's gotta lose the beard. I bet it adds 10 years to him...or maybe that's what he's going for?

EGE said...

Johnny grows his beard every winter and shaves it every Easter. Every year, I am astounded at how baby he looks without it. And every year, I am jealous of men for having the ability to transform so easily.

theotherbear said...

Wow, you spent 3 houyrs looking for my request, I feel so special.
I look forward to asking again at Easter for you to post a shaven photo! :)