Play the Johnny Game!

[Contest is closed, now. Sorry, late worms!]

Johnny has a beard.



It's a very handsome beard. Not every man can grow one like it.

But it's making him itchy, which is making him sad.

See, Johnny usually starts growing his beard on Hallow's eve, and then he shaves it off on Easter. But this year he started early, as you can see by this picture I took from my gimp-bed on November 1...

And by now it's driving him to...

So he wants to hold a pool. Like you have when a baby's due. Except this one's better than the ones he plays up at the pub, because this one's free!

Guess the date and time that Johnny's beard comes off, and we will put it in an envelope and mail it to you!

Kidding.

We'll send you a little bit of what we had for dinner last night?

No, huh?

Okay, we'll send you this.

Did somebody say chick-un?

All right, all right. Seriously:

Johnny says he will draw a picture for the winner, of whatever you decide -- or, if you'd rather, he will decide for you. He's a very good drawer. Just ask my football buddy

Uncle Johnny draws very good aminals!

(I'm not kidding about this. He is a really good drawer. Unfortunately he always gives them away, so I can't show you any of his work. But they are good. They actually look like stuff and everything.)

Also -- because hey, I live here, too -- I'll throw in this Very Funny Book that I found at my Special Store the other day.

(The picture is a link to its Amazon page, as if "Don't forget to carry your thing" wouldn't be enough to get your crave on.)

And we'll also throw in a few more fun things, chosen just for you.

Okay, it's time for Official Rules and Reminders:

1. Johnny will not see the comments, so he will not be influenced by what anybody says.

2. Don't forget, he's supposed to last till Easter, but it's driving him insane. So you've got a wide spectrum to choose from.

3. I'm going to have to say one guess per customer. It wouldn't be fair if the first few folks took up all the good days.

4. If nobody gets it exactly, then whoever's closest wins.

5. I'm counting from both directions -- in other words: there is no Price is Right, "without going over" rule.

6. In the event of a tie, whoever guessed first is the winner. (That's why I said to guess the time of day as well. To narrow the chances of a tie. Also, this way two people can guess the same day if they want to.)

7. Johnny also has mad hair:

... but if you suggest he shave it off, I'll killya.


For all you housebloggers et al. who are popping your tenterhooks, I'll continue the kitchen saga first thing tomorrow. For now, though, the sun is up -- so I gotta go!