I'm not going to be shedding any forty pounds before we hit the road on Tuesday.
Not unless the airlines lose my bag.
And okay, no: this is not actually the bag I plan to bring. I just thought it would be funny, right? A good pun on the name? 'Cuz we're taking a road trip, see? And cars have tires? Also, I'm fat? And I drink beer? You get it?
Sheesh.
I know. It's dumb. I'm not even really planning to check luggage, for crying out loud. And, if I were, that thing (which probably doesn't even weigh twenty pounds, let alone forty) is not a bag. It's a cardboard box. Der.
Plus, why would I be bringing a cardboard box of beer onto the airplane? Would they even let me? Not to mention a kind of beer I can't get here but that's made right where we're going.
Well, going right past. Sort of. Within fifty miles, anyway. And in another state.
Whatever.
Also, all right, it's not mine. It's just a picture I found on the internet. But there. That's it. That's everything.
Are you happy now? It was a bad joke to begin with, and now it's been completely stomped to death. Jeebers. You people could talk the 2,000 year-old man into admitting he's really a Kaminsky from the Lower East Side.
So fine. This was not the point I started out to make, but here. This is what my real bag looks like:
You think they'll let me carry it on the plane?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Okay, Fine...
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5 comments:
Um, point of order, Ms Stevie Nicks Hater. That's not your bag either. Your bag is smooshy and smells like cottage cheese.
Ew! That wasn't cottage cheese, that was hummus. MUCH less disgusting thing for a bag to smell like.
um no. Here is the TSA process...You must dump all of it out. Every drop... Then They'll sell you a case at quadruple the price to bring on the plane...
EGE!!!! Where are you going????????? I'm sorry I'm out of the loop. If you don't get a chance to respond:
1) HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME!!!!
2) You don't need to lose no stinkin' forty pounds, sistah!
3) Please bring me candy and a souvenir.
4) Johnny is flat-out dreamy--all vintages! (Strangely, my sister's fiance Johnny also had a hippiesque Greek interlude, but I believe he roamed about half-nude and lived in a cave for a time.)
If you do get a chance to respond:
5) HOW did you GET that PHOTO in your BANNER?
Donna -- you got that right, cuz!
Sparkle! I'm not leaving for a few days yet, so here goes...
1. I'm flying to Sacramento and driving back home to Massachusetts with my One Friend, who's moving to boring old Connecticut. Yay! We WILL have a wonderful time.
2. Oh, well, all rightie then. Phew!
3. I will bring candy and souvenirs for everyone.
4. Right? How did I get so lucky?
5. The background is a picture of my house that I robbed off the assessor's website because I couldn't make one of my own that looked right. The lady is a Vargas girl I found. And my friend Ben shmooshed them together for me. I dunno about the shmooshing process, but I have a link to his blog on my blogroll, if you want to ask him more about it.
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