It's not about the house.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Winning is Relative

For Jean...

All weekend nobody knew it not even Jean
But all at once she woke up to something that kept knocking at her brain.
I know that I’m insane for what I came right out and said
(Were I not quite so well-fed, I might have shown you it instead):
I have a tattoo!

I’m trying not to be too revealing,
My mother couldn’t deal with the tale of me deciding to myself
I'd write it on myself and never go without it
But didn’t I go and shout it into the series of tubes?
I have a tattoo!

I have a tattoo, Jean didn’t know what it’s made of –
If she did we weren’t apprised of until I gave a prize for…
Naming my tattoo! And this is said accolade of –
Though it worries me to say that it took her three whole days.

Don’t know why I love Partridges.*
What do you think it’s all about?**
Of it ought I to just grow out?***


I have a tattoo, Jean didn’t know what it’s made of –
If she did we weren’t apprised of until I gave a prize for
Naming my tattoo. And this is said accolade of –
Though it worries me to say that it took her three whole days.

Now Jeanie, why’d you go and get all blurry
With Renovation Therapy, and why’d you say "hey go away" Blogger?
Is Wordpress such a thrill you had to cut out on I Love U.?
Do you think I am debased? How does this affect my case:
It’s not my only!****

I have a tattoo!
In fact I have three!*****
I have a tattoo!
In fact I have three!******
I have a tattoo!
In fact I have three!*******
I have a tattoo!
In fact I have three! ********
I have a tattoo!
In fact I have three! *********

*Oh, yes I do. There's nothing like a little prepubescent lust to last a lifetime.

** Still, though: I've never been so deep inside of it before. You go back to the original and try to match the rhythm and the rhyme scheme -- it's much more complex than even I ever gave it credit for. Tony Romeo was a freaking genius! I couldn't come close.


**** Though I would like to point out: this is my only one in the Partridge Family oeuvre. I'm not
all kitsch. The other two were inspired by the musical stylings of Minneapolis and Detroit. Well, Minneapolis and Bay City, Michigan. Which is very close to Detroit, but it ain't Motown.

*****I'd also like to take this opportunity to point out that I invented tattoo-getting. Not for sailors or bikers of course, but for impressionable young women. Which makes me ancient, but at least doesn't make me a trendy idiot. I was a trend-setting idiot, dagnabbit!

******I do wish nobody'd invented the phrase "tramp stamp," however. Or that at least they'd invented it before I stamped #3.

*******Other than that little quibble, I still love them all. No regrets.

********But that is the last you will ever hear about any of them here, I swear to god.

*********Hey, it's a woman's prerogative. And if you watched that clip, you know it's all about the Power of Women.


su said...

O jeeeez 3... Where did I go wrong?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Jean is a lucky woman.

The first time I looked at that picture of your tattoo, I thought it was the Partridge Family--of which I, too, am very fond--and then I thought my mind was playing tricks on me (as it is wont to do).

HAVE A FABULOUS TRIP (with Charlie?! Hey...You could write a book: Travels with Charlie! What's that you say? Oh. That's right.)! Please stay at a Drury Hotel or Inn & Suites along the way. Why?
1) Free breakfast.
2) Three free "adult beverages" and snax per day.
3) Free Internet access from rooms.
4) Indoor swimming pool.
5) Pretty decent and comfy rooms and suites.
6) AAA discount rates!

Jenni said...

Thought you may get a kick out of this.

Sorry, copy paste...I don't know how to do the linky thing on these comments. I am not versed in HTML tags, but open to learning.

Anonymous said...


See, I'm more of an Andy PARTRIDGE (xtc) kinda gal.

Have a great trip!

EGE said...

Su -- remember, you BOUGHT me all those Partridge Family albums. (Well, not all of them. Sadly, there was one you never found. And I am still buying them compulsively wherever I find them. Which explains why I have at least three of all of them. Except that one. That one I only have on CD, a gift from my One Friend. Sigh.)

Sparkle -- Always trust your instincts! Especially when it comes to dreamy, singing boys. on an unrelated note: THREE free adult beverages? Do they allow dogs? I'll have to check, because unfortunately, it's a deal-breaker.

Jenni -- Hm... Do you think somebody (maybe like a mean older brother somebody) was very tired of somebody else (maybe a moony little sister somebody) playing the record over and over and over and over and over again? I can't imagine who would go and do a thing like that. Especially not the Partridge Family Christmas Card. In August.

RT -- Dear God. Got it. Next time.

su said...

Wink wink nudge nudge 3 albums Silly girl