It's not about the house.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Six Yoots

For Donna

My cousin Donna’s a lot like my mum,
And my mum’s just like me – so, we three, we have fun
Drinking and swearing and passing our gas.
But Donna’s got some things Mum and I don’t have.
Three things more than Mum has, and six more than me –
Six things I’ll never have, if I’m lucky.
Namely: Girls One and Two, and Boys One, Two, Three, Four.
It was some saving grace got me out of that chore
(In fact, that’s not true, wasn’t grace did that duty.
It was acres of latex and, at last, an IUD).
Donna’s fecundity doubled at once
Doubled her daughters, and doubled her sons.
But still cousin D remained fun as she ever
Was when she and her own Johnny first got together.
Nobody else could have raised all them kids
Unexpectedly-like, the way cuzDonna did.

Which is all to say naught ‘bout the contest I planned
But if you need a joke, cousin Donna’s your man.


Leslie said...

I will never be able to say "IUD" the same way any more: From this point forward it will always be "Ay-YOO-dee" to rhyme with "DU-ty."

As always, you crack me up.

Leslie said...

Oh and your title cracked me up - one of my favorite mindless silly movies. "Two whuuut? Did you say 'two yoots'?"

donnastaf said...

Six Yoots!!!! I just watched My Cousin Vinnie a couple weeks ago with "tree yoots". Let it be a secret that my Johnnie still has a couple friends that still talk like dat...You can take da boy outa da sout end, but ya can't take da sout end outa da boy~ ya know. See why I needed da stick, hey? dem guys stay ugly!

su said...

Now Donna has brought her quiet shy sister-in-law into the same zaney circle.... And boy do they laugh and have fun together. No more shy SIL