Dr. One Friend Answers!

Welcome to Ask Dr. One Friend, in which we (mostly I) ask questions (mostly about me) to my One Friend, who will answer truthfully (or not) in the Wise Old Manner to which she is now contractually obliged to be inclined.

Ha ha.

Let's begin with a write-in question. Khurston says: "why do AM radio stations fuzz out when you go under a bridge, but FM radio stations don't?"

Dr. One Friend says: A little known fact is that AM stands for Always-clear (Mostly), and FM = Fuzzy (Mostly). So, like a "grande" being medium, and a medium pizza being the smallest...AM is sometimes fuzzy and FM is (mostly) clear. Glad I could help!

Now one from me: What do you think about me, Dr. One Friend?

Kerfuffle!

Hm. Interesting. Let's go back to the peanut gallery. Jean at I Love Upstate asks: "Why does Erin only have "one" friend? Is it her deoderant?"

I feel sorry for her...and yes, her pits do smell nice.

Why, thank you Dr. One Friend! May I call you DOF?

No

Balls.

Can I call you Ass?

Why not? Everybody else does! Okay, so let's see here... Ah, yes. Donna Staf asks: "What is clam pee?"

A reliable source (okay, my dad) once told me that the foam in the ocean is clam pee. I am starting to wonder if he was pulling my leg....

No, no. Parents would never make up stories just to shut their children up. Right, Donna?

So, back to me: Dr. O. Friend, I am not drinking a beer at 11:00 in the morning. Am I?

Please, please feel free to call me Dr. One Friend. No, I believe it is only 10:59...

Ahem. It is 11:07. Moving on---

Ahem...I don't want to be obnoxious, but you opened the beer at 10:58...

Moving on: Su asks: "Why do sting rays jump out of the water and into boats?"

Well, Su...I guess the real question here is "why do people jump out of boats into the water?"

Fascinating. Now let's bring the mood down a bit. What do you think of the AssVac, Dr. One Friend?

Lovely, simply lovey. I really love what you have done with the place. Have you seen my cane? It was white with a red tip? I think I left it by the door?

Whoops, we're out of time.