It's not about the house.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Get Crafty With the AssVac!

Lesson #1: Don't fight and knit.

Exhibit A: Two booties.

Same pattern, same stich count, same needles, same yarn. One bootie knitted placidly by the fire on a leisurely Sunday afternoon. And one knitted ferociously -- with occasional snot-wiping breaks -- in bed late at night after a water-dumping*, dish-throwing, AssVac-induced, ululating brawl. Somehow they seem to have come out with slightly different tension on the stitches.

Huh. Hard to imagine, that. Can you tell which one was knitted when?

I quizzed Johnny, and he said, "Beats me.

"But it looks like that kid's gonna have one hell of a limp."**



*Oh yeah, P.S. I may or may not have dumped an entire Britta pitcher over him in the middle of the rumble last night. And, if I did, it may or may not have been before the glassware flew. I told you, man: duck! But it's okay now.

**See? We're making jokes and stuff. Like dinner. And none of it's flying through the air.***

***Yet.

8 comments:

Bob said...

Jeesh, do I have to know all of this???????

theotherbear said...

Clearly, you will have to knit another one by the fire. Then get another pitcher of water, throw it on Johnny and after a while knit another one. Voila, 2 pairs - one in size small!

iloveupstate.com said...

Can I suggest a bottle of wine and a cheap motel room for the two of you?

Vanessa said...

OY! That house is a tough one on relationships. You two are tough for sticking together through it.

su said...

Actually I think they are better isnce buying the house.

EGE said...

Bob -- Yup. It's funny because it's true...

TOB -- HA! Seriously, you made me chortle. I think you're right. I was going to tear that teensy bootie out, but now I think I'll save it and make a match the next time he pisses me off. Speaking of which...

ILU -- If cabin fever is doing this to us, do you really think getting us drunk and locking us in a single room is gonna solve the problem? He's got a plane ticket to Dublin in ten days. A six hour time difference for a week and half really ought to do the trick.

Vanessa -- You got that right, sister. Although it took us six months or so to learn to laugh about it. You would NOT have wanted to know us in the summer of 2004.

Su -- Right, mom?

Stephanie said...

If you could photograph those booties artistically (I mean, posed and arty, not just show-and-telly for the blog) and give it a snooty title I could SOOOOOO see it being an exhibit at a modern art show. Even the booties themselves, in a little case.

EGE said...

Steph -- You are really, REALLY weird.