It's not about the house.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Horton Lays an Egg

I said what I meant, and I meant what I said, but then The Man came along and foed everything all to hell.

I went to three different stores in search of my camera battery.

#1. Fail

#2. Fail

#3. Tired of failing, I buy something else that looks like it might work.


So now I'm off to stupid Best Buy -- which I hate, and where I always feel like an idiot because I have a TV I can actually pick up all by myself -- to buy a battery. And you just know no one is going to want to help me find my battery, because they don't get commissions on them like they do enormous television sets.

So I won't be posting my stupid poem tonight, either. Because it demands illustration, dammit, but as soon as I get back with the foing battery, we have to drive all the way down to foing Middleborough, in foing rush hour, to watch Andy get inducted (or whatever) into the foing Elks.

Elks. I've never known anyone who was an elk before. God bless Andy, man.

In the meantime, look on the bright side: if you have nothing to do over the weekend, you can look forward to lots of picture-laden posts from yours truly-foing-stupid.

[Update: I didn't have to go to Best Buy. I went to Radio Shack, which I actually looked up and found right down the street, in a shopping plaza that I never knew was there. Also, in the same plaza, another Dunkin' Donuts. That makes sixwithin a two-mile radius of my house.

I bought a rechargeable battery so that we don't have to go through this whole thing again. I even remembered to pick up the charge-adapter, so I wouldn't have to swear and kick things when I got home. It needs three hours to charge, so I can't do anything post-wise right now, but maybe -- maybe -- if we get home early enough, and I have too much to drink (I mean don't, "If I don't have too much to drink"), maybe I will post when I get home. Maybe.

Oh, and also: I am apparently one-quarter elk. Who knew?]


su said...

Hey Grampy Ferg was an Elk

Muskego Jeff said...

I didn't think the "blue shirts" at Best Buy got paid commission any more. I used to work there about 15 years ago as a commissioned sales guy, but quit and went to work for the competition after getting screwed over by the store manager one too many times.

Amalie said...

No commission at Best Buy-- also, the TVs and computers may cost more, but there's a higher mark-up on accessories like batteries and cables. Like, an obscene, should be illegal higher markup. By percentage, they make more money on the little stuff.

I worked two miserable Xmas seasons there. Shut up.

Amalie said...

Management was screwing me over too, muskego jeff. IT embarrasses me just enough that I worked there twice. I really despise when I have to go there now and make small talk with those people.

EGE said...

Okay, sorry. So if they don't work on commission, why won't they pay any attention to me when I want to buy the little television? Does it have anything to do with the fact that I asked them why the input cables go on the fronts of TVs these days? said...

There's some weirdness with digital cameras that you can't use alkaline batteries or something like that or the opposite or who the hell knows. I get is screwed up all the time to and have to run to the Fiance like a toddler and ask "these batteries!??!" but I finally switched to the rechargables and life is harmonious again.

Sparkle Plenty said...


"I get back with the foing battery, we have to drive all the way down to foing Middleborough, in foing rush hour, to watch Andy get inducted (or whatever) into the foing Elks."

This is the foing biggest stroke of luck EVAH! Inducted into the Elks????? RICH SOURCE OF BLOG MATERIAL. Awesome source of a humorous essay in your book! Unless they blindfolded you or brainwashed you into forgettin' The Ceremony or somethin'? Do Elks were capes? Do they wear fezzes with antlers? Am jealous.

su said...

They have good pancake breakfasts in FL

theotherbear said...

What is an elk? It sounds like something out of a Monty Python skit.