It's not about the house.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

One Is Silver and the Other's... A Multi-Scoped Submarine Taking a Dump

Ta da!
Ta da (with the lights on, and from the other side)!
Ta d-- oops.

You weren't supposed to see that.

Oh, what the hell.

Ta d-- oops (from the other side).

Half-done, see?

New!

Old.

New!

Old.

New!

Old.

New/old.

New/old. With a hole in it. Because at this point, why bother?


Old. With a wad of toilet paper jammed in the hole where the deadbolt used to be. Because one day the deadbolt spontaneously locked itself. From the inside. Meaning the basement. And there was nobody down there. Which freaked me out. And we didn't have a key. So I took a hammer to it. Knocked the deadbolt clear through the door and down the cellar stairs. But then basement smells kept wafting up into the kitchen through the deadbolt-hole. So I shoved toilet paper in there. And forgot.

Old. And really just too pretty for words.
Old. Definitely old. And stunning, don't you think? The water stain. From the leak in the back room that rotted the house, that lowered the price, that made it so we could afford to buy the AssVac in the first place. Leak's fixed. Room's fixed. This water stain is all that's left to remind us. Well, this, plus twenty beer-pounds around my hips and decidedly grey stripes on both my temples.

Let's Rorshach it, shall we? I'll start.

I see... A submarine. With an extra little up-periscope thingy sticking out the front. And dumping some waste or something out the back. Yes. Definitely a multi-scoped submarine taking a dump.

What do you see?

12 comments:

Stephanie said...

A Star Wars something or other....maybe the one that looks like this with one of those little fighter jets behind it.

I swear I'm not nearly as much of a nerd as I must come across here.

Muskego Jeff said...

Is it just me or is your new GFCI outlet upside down? The PO in my house has half of the outlets like this and the other half the correct way (in my opinion, at least).

Oh, and I see a little princess sitting on a cloud in your ceiling. She's holding a Ninja star in her right hand and a bag of weed in her left. What'd I win?

EGE said...

Hey, Jeff, welcome back! The X-Box not doing it for you anymore?

Yes, you're right. The new plugs are ALL upside down. I don't know why. They work, and that's all I care about.

You win... the green cookie in the fur-lined pocket!

(I don't know what it means. A teacher I knew used to say it all the time.)

Steph -- as least you didn't know what those fighter jets are called, so you can still be my friend.

iloveupstate.com said...

The Virgin Mary!!!

No, not really.

Vanessa said...

I see a man on a horse with a tazer gun going off and making light bursts.

Charlie said...

Here's a contest idea for you...
Toilet paper is to EGE as duck tape is to ________

Muskego Jeff said...

Heck yeah it is, I'm not about to grow up any time soon!

The plugs would drive me nuts - I guess I'm too anal retentive for my own good. That, plus I like the way they look like little faces when they're turned the other way! :)

su said...

I see a witch with a very long nose in one of those airplane kiddie amusement park rides and she has a very bad cold and no tissues! Hey give her some toilet paper Ege
And Charlie: to Tim the tool Guy

SmilingJudy said...

Jeff and EGE - Technically, they're not upside down. Look at the plugs in any commercial installation....that's what they look like. I sense residential will start moving that way also. Hardcore-geek electricians say 'upside-down' is the correct way to go from a purist safety perspective and a hundred other reasons that are beyond my puny brain. I guess it's a bit of a controversial issue in the world of electricians.

Just so ya know....


I see Seattle's Space Needle in the midst of a nuclear event. I'm sure that says nothing about my psyche.

jen said...

Ummmmm. Der. Its a Yeti with a light saber on an iceberg.

Ps..Your new stove kinda makes me hot.

Tara said...

Yup...On the off chance your 3 pronged plug is not pushed in all the way, and you just happen to be strolling by with a fork, and said fork happens to fall upon the partially protruding plug, it's supposed to be safer that the fork hits the ground prong, rather than making the connection between the other two.

But what happens if you're laying on the floor throwing forks UP at the partially protruding plug?

theotherbear said...

You guys have funny looking power points. And funny acting people throwing forks at the sockets.

I see a greek god with a sword coming out of a mist.