Day 16: Part 1

I know I said I wasn't going to do it, but I also said I wasn't going to say what I was or wasn't going to do -- so you can't go taking anything on my say-so.

I did it. I bleached the g-d door again. The sun was out this morning and who knows when that's going to be true again, and one of the things Johnny told me was to spray it with bleach and let it sit in the sun all day -- which it did not exactly do the last time, did it? So between my workout and my shower this morning I got a wild hair and lugged the damn thing back outside.

Then I spent twenty minutes looking for the squirt bottle that I was using yesterday.

I knew this: It was empty when I put it down. That's all. Now, if you had an empty bottle in your hand, you'd either put it down where you were using it, put it back where it belonged, put it near what you were going to want to fill it up with (i.e., near the bleach in the laundry room) -- or, failing all of that, you would at least absent-mindedly put it down somewhere where you'd been. Wouldn't you? I checked the bathroom, the kitchen, the back hall, the laundry room and the yard each three times before I gave up, took out the trash, and found the damn thing on the porch. Standing right up like a little soldier, on the floor next to the front door, like it was waiting for me to let it out to play. I have no memory of this, none. And I wasn't drinking last night. I can't even imagine the scenario in which it this is the likely -- or even possible -- outcome. But there it was.

This time I didn't rag it off. Johnny did tell me to do that, very specifically he told me not to leave the bleach sitting on there but to wipe it off with a damp rag. But I did that twice yesterday and look where it got me. So today I left it, puddles and all -- oh, except I did wipe off the doorknob. I probably really should have removed the doorknob, now that I think about it...

I'm still going to, this afternoon, do the thing I planned to do today before the sun came out and made me bleach the door. But I ain't saying what. And you cain't make me.

(I'll post again this afternoon and give you the roundup then. In the meantime, Runaway Squirt Bottles: Plain old annoying)