It's not about the house.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Day 27, Project 11: Ta Da!

Le laundry, c’est finis:

Here’s the thing.

I woke up this morning (sweating, I might add -- it is so hot here! 97, for those of you inclined to scoff, which I think is like 36 or something for you “Zed”-sayers) with a mind towards staining. I wanted to stain the back hallway -- two doors, three doorframes, and four windows.

Trying to decide whether to do it before work (when it would be less hot) or after (when I’d have more time) I asked Johnny how long he thought it would take.

“For you to do?” he answered. “Or for me?”

Which is not as obnoxious as it sounds because, remember, he has been doing this for thirty years

“For me.”

“Oh, probably a day.”

“A day!?”

“To stain it all and rag it off and everything? Yeah.”

“How long would it take you?”

“Probably about four hours. Four, five hours or so.”

Suddenly my mind felt more in the humor of hanging a quick shelf. (I’ll stain on the weekend, Goody, when there aren’t breathing-danger-warnings and I have more time…)

I’d love to say I put up some nice shelves for Shakespeare, but that would entail a.) deciding where to put them (the biggest obstacle), and b.) going to buy them (which I don’t feel like doing), and c.) probably staining them (which I might as well do when I’m staining anyway, if I can remember to go and buy them first).

We did, though, get some closet-type shelves handed down to us (by the same folks, in fact, who handed down the nice red love seat that’s been featured so prominently of late), and they would look just lover-ly in the laundry room. I mean, instead of having to step over the jugs of detergent on the floor, which has always been the strategy thus far.

I asked Johnny if he knew where the shelves were (oh yeah, he’s not working today after all. We got caught behind the drawbridge on his way to work this morning and his boss left without him. Nice, huh?).

“If you don’t know,” I said. “I’ll look. But do you happen to have an idea?”

Well, then I had to hear the “where-are-you-going-to-put-them” and “my-god-the-shower-plumbing-is-in-that-wall” speech, which boiled down to if I wanted to hang a shelf I had to move the washing machines. Again. And move the picture (that I just hung) to the opposite wall.

Good thing he missed his ride, though, huh? Otherwise yeesh, I might have burst a pipe in our brand-new bathroom and be writing this post from the loony bin instead of from the freezer.

So I shoved over the machines, then I had to vacuum and mop under where they’d been because apparently I’d missed that spot the last time, then I measured and drilled and put the hangers in and set the shelf and voila (with an accent, which I don't know how to do in blogger)!

And then I decided the picture really would look better hanging up behind the shelf instead of practically hidden over there next to the door.

So I crawled under and ooched up behind the shelf that I’d just hung. I forgot to bring the measuring tape so I just eyeballed it, and I didn’t have room to swing the hammer properly so I dropped the nail a few times (once, I caught it in my armpit-cleavage but once I had to slither down the wall and feel around for it). Of course once the nail was in I realized I’d forgotten to bring the g-d picture, so I had to back out bum first and grab it (and if anybody even thinks that beeping sound I’ll slug you) and -- once more, with feeling…

Le laundry room, c’est freakin' finis. I’m so glad I didn’t stain today, or I might have got myself all sweaty.

(Oh, and by the way, two weeks is up: I spent two years stripping paint, and I win the slap bet. You better watch your back, buddy. Nyeah!)

Day 27: Accomplished.
Time: Between finding the shelves and vac’ing and mopping and everything else: 40 minutes.
Cost: Nothing.
Choosing Not To Slap My Sister As Hard As I Want To The Next Time I See Her And Therefore Having Something To Lord Over Her In All Of My Prudential Goodness: Not as priceless as actually getting to slug her, but pretty close.


slap commissioner said...

Dear EgE -
As newly appointed slapbet commissioner, I regret to inform you that I have to over-rule your self-proclaimed victory. I note that the slap bet was made (and accepted) at 7:25 and 7:40 am on Thursday June 14th, and stripping was again (gloatingly) mentioned at 3:40 pm on Wednesday June close.
Khurston wins!

MP said...

Don't know who the slapbet commissioner is, but I will be glad to slap you both on the fourth if it will keep peace in the family!