It's not about the house.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Day 30, Project 13: Stank!

Turns out I didn't have to just sand the woodwork.

I had to sand it, and then vacuum all the crap off, and then wash it with denatured alcohol before I could even think about staining anything.

Why couldn't Andy just stay a-freakin-wake and take Johnny out of here today?

So yeah, I'm not staining. Which is not just my decision (and I'll get into that later), but for now, here's these:







And (CONTEST ALERT) if you can tell me which one is "before" and which one's "after," I will write a poem with your name in it that compares you to Sherlock Holmes and Albert Einstein.

This is why I hate sanding. The work itself is not so bad, but there's no accomplishment in it.

It took two hours all together. And it took away my dream of getting the back hallway stained and then folding laundry while watching Rocky Balboa.

Laundry's piling, Rocky's waiting, but I learned a lot.

Here's something I learned:

This...






... and especially this...


... is what happens when you wait two years after putting in the windowsills before you get around to staining them.

I also found this ...





... which is not a great picture, but which is obviously water damage.

Odd.

Because there is simply no way that water could have damaged this doorjamb. There are no pipes nearby, it's not an outside wall, and anyway the damage starts and ends in the middle of the doorjamb -- there's noplace it could have come from except, oddly, the hinge...



... which would make sense, actually, if you closed the door in the winter to keep the cold from the hall out of the kitchen. And if the kitchen was a mere three feet from this particular hall. So that the coldness of the hinge would conduct the heat from the kitchen and condense water from the air.

Huh.

Anyhoo...

I also learned another use for a five-way (I don't know if this is one of the official "five" but, still, it works): cutting sandpaper. Johnny showed me -- or, not that he showed me, he just did it and I watched.

You fold it first and then you jab the point through:

Then you just pull it:

Ta da! No tearing and screwing it up, no ruining your scissors.

Ooh, here's something else:


I found this wee vacuum in the closet I cleaned out yesterday. Made today a little easier. So maybe karma really does come round after all..

Oh so PS: I did think I was going to stain today also, but Johnny reminded me that I had to not get stain on the new windows, and I've had three beers already. So tomorrow...

And don't forget the contest (if you can tell me which one is "before" and which one's "after," I will write a poem with your name in it that compares you to Sherlock Holmes and Albert Einstein)..

Day 30: Accomplished.
Time: 2 1/2 hours (I swear to god).
Cost: Nothing.
Having An In-House Expert To Tell You How To Do Everything The Right Way: Pain in the bollocks

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll go with top photo as after. Could just be the lighting in the picture though, but the back door looks like it is cleaner and therefore painted more recently (like the window sills you can't get stain on?

Leslie said...

Well, I was going to say the top photo was the "after" pic as well, but since I'm already too late for that and it's just a 50/50 chance either way, I'll say the bottom one.

Unknown said...

OK, I'm clearly too late for the poem but I think the top photo is the "after" shot. I'll admit up front that I can't tell a damn bit of difference in the woodwork between the two. Sorry, but that was your point, right? My reasoning is that the top shot includes more woodwork, particularly the closer door frame, and after all that sanding you wanted credit for working on all of it. Come to think of it, I'd like credit for writing this comment. How about a consolation haiku?

EGE said...

Too bad for you, Bob.
There is no consolation
When you are not first.