It's not about the house.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

...Oh, I Believe (In Scrambled Eggs)...

So the ending of the story is that it rained so hard on our way home from the courthouse yesterday that we couldn't see, and then the driver's side wiper flapped off in the wind. The electrician had finished the job, but the plumber hadn't shown up. I went out to get beer so I could offer one to the electrician. Turns out electrician plays guitar and the three boys (John B. was here) stayed in the living room drinking beer and playing guitar until 10:30 last night. When the electrician finally left, he let Boy Cat out. I only noticed because when I gave Sister some catnip he did not come running. I found him, with the aid of catnip, cowering behind the shrubs out front (a tip for cat owners: when they get out, don't spend hours scouring the neighborhood, they are always cowering behind the shrubs out front. Sneaky with the getting, not so brave with the actually being out).

So let's do this for a Hump Day Dump Day, Which-Is-To-Be-Master Poem Contest, because I wasted too much time on this blog already and so I won't be back here for a while:

What do you think will happen today with my furnace?

Here is what's supposed to happen: Plumber comes any minute, puts the liner in, calls electrician. Electrician and plumber call respective inspectors, respective inspectors both come, sign off. Plumber calls Keyspan, Keyspan schedules a drive by.

But what do you think will really happen? Whoever gets closest to however it turns out will be the winner and I'll write a poem in your honor. Unless nobody's close, and then I'll pick the funniest.

So be funny! Because what are the chances you'll be right?


Tara said...


The whole courthouse story is insane. Not at all unexpected, seeing as how you are dealing with a govt. agency, but even more incompetent that usual. And they wonder why people are generally already surly and defensive when they walk into those places, or why people are in the country illegally, or why people walk into places and start shooting.

I was at NJ Motor Vehicles this morning, and even THAT wasn't that bad. Good luck getting in and out next time without giving in to the urge to cause mass carnage!!!

Khurston said...

Here is what's supposed to happen: Plumber comes any minute, [[KSE]] (plumber comes at 11:45) puts the liner in, [[KSE]] (realizes he has the wrong liner and drives home to go to his local home depot to find the correct one since he knows what aisle it's in) calls electrician. [[KSE]] (and leaves a voicemail since it is of course lunchtime. Call is returned at 2:13) Electrician and plumber call respective inspectors, [[KSE]] (and leave voicemails since of course they're all busy returning calls they received during their own lunch hours) respective inspectors both come, [[KSE]] (HA! One inspector comes but can't sign off without the other one there, so he waits long enough to use the loo, and drives off, passing the other one as he drives off down the street. You'll have to schedule some time tomorrow when they'll be available and you'll be home) sign off. [[KSE]] (hopefully before lunch tomorrow) Plumber calls Keyspan, [[KSE]] (he waits on hold for 5 minutes and gets sick of waiting so he waits an hour before he calls again, where he hangs up after 10 minutes. Tries one more time after his stories are over. Finally waits 20 minutes and gets through by 3:45, keyspan tells him they don't know why he'd call, they need to hear from the homeowner directly. You get the messgae and make the call, [and wait on hold for 45 minutes]but they ask technical questions that you wouldn't know the answer to unless you were a plumber, so you leave plumber a voicemail, which he returns after keyspan's gone for the day. Call is finally completed Friday morning) Keyspan schedules a drive by. [[KSE]] (keyspan already did the driveby since the plumber mentioned to them why he was calling, but noone was home when they stopped so they blacklist you and don't come until after the first hard freeze.)
You know I'm right

EGE said...

Thanks for the sympathies. I had a much better experience yesterday, which I'll write about today sometime.

Wow, you really put your heart and soul into this one. Since you're the only one who entered, I guess you're the winner -- but you are wrong, wrong, wrong! I'll write about that today, too, sometime.