It's not about the house.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

We Lied...

...but at least nobody died.

When we said my essay would go on Shakesville today, we forgot what today's date is. They've been a little busy over there. It will go up tomorrow, and you can be sure I'll remind you then.

In the meantime, let me just nutshell my day for you -- it will be a long long post when I get around to writing it tomorrow [now that you've indulged yourself with this here, Prudence, maybe the long-long isn't necessary -- Goody], but for brevity's sake, here are some numbers just to give you an idea:

2 hours spent in the dentist chair
20 x-rays taken
0 work actually done
1 referral to an endodontist for the broken tooth
1 referral to an oral surgeon to take out what's left of my wisdom (which is all of it -- I knew it was too good to last)
3 appointments lined up to fill cavities

1 deep, slightly shuddering breath, and now we move on to biometrics-appointment related paper-gathering

2 hours on the road getting to appropriate courthouse
45 minutes spent in...
3 wrong offices tried before finding appropriate office in courthouse
1 hour spent in appropriate office waiting to be told...
0 documents achievable today (why? we had "arrived too late in the afternoon")

tears, countless several

1 lashing rainstorm driven through on the way home
1 windshield wiper lost in lashing rainstorm (driver's side)

home again home again jiggity jig

1 electrician, finished the job!
1 John B., hanging out with electrician, waiting for us to come home
0 beers left in fridge
170 measly dollars electrician charged to hook us up

out again out again joggity jog

32 measly dollars charged at the package store for:
30-pack of Budweiser
2 6-packs IPA
1 pack Marlboro Lights, and
1 Ultra Lights

back up a sec and do the math... you realize what that adds up to...?

FREE BEER, that's what!!!!



(or free cigarettes, but that's nowhere near as funny, or as well-deserved...)

3 comments:

Charlie said...

Ugh!
Poor poor poor pitiful you!
:(

Leslie said...

Ok, your day beats my measly little stomach flu, hands down.

But I do want to know whose IPA you drink. I may have to grab me some Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA as soon as my tummy is all better... mmmmm, good stuff.

Leslie said...

Oh and I meant to mention that I appreciate the very timely reference to one of my favorite politial t-shirts/bumper stickers.