It's not about the house.

Friday, December 14, 2007

No C.C.-Ums

Certain people have been clamoring for photos of my 60-c.c. tree, and now that I'm all rested and camera-ready I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint them.

On my honor, there are five dozen candy canes hanging on this tree.

I mean, like I said, they're not meant to leap off the tree and poke you in the eye. But in person you can at least pick them out.

When I went to take the picture, though, if I stood back far enough to get the entire tree, you couldn't see the candy canes at all.

(Still gotta fix those popcorn strings.)

So I up-closed and sectioned it, felt the need to point them out even then -- and still couldn't see more than a third of what I knew was there.

Now, here, you-all can't see them even as well as I could when I counted them. Plus it's hard to keep track with overlapping images. I believe I've been honest up to this point in not counting any visible candy twice, but somewhere around here I just lost count.

You're simply going to have to trust me that there are sixty candy canes on that there tree -- and that they are actually visible when you're in the room.

Oh! I know! See, look:

Twelve and twelve and twelve and twelve -- plus a dozen more "of color" (is that better, Jen?) -- adds up to three even score. They're all in their places there, really and true.*

Doesn't bode well for the prospect of showing you the hundreds of ornaments I plan to put on it this afternoon. But at least I will know it's beautiful. Or, who can say? Maybe I'll read the manual that came with the camera and discover what it is I'm doing wrong.

Not bloody likely!

*Sorry. I've always wanted to work all three "ðéiər"s** into a single sentence, so when I saw my chance I knew I had to take it.

Also, sorry again. That's the phonetic spelling. And sorry a third time for being such a language geek. I promise to lay off the grammar jokes for a little while. Because I know your sides are split to bursting from all the gerundific hilariousity.


su said...

When I grew up and went through grammar school, there was no schwa nor did we have phonics. I grew with the "Look See" method. Mom always said that is why I am a terrible speller. I say it is just because I do not care to clutter by brain with anything not science or mathematics.

Anonymous said...

Adjust the contrast on the camera and you might get more clarity.

Charlie said...

My tree is are falling behind!

EGE said...

Nuh-uh! By the time you posted that, my tree was done, too! Well, almost. But I was just too lazy to write about it.

Khurston said...

hey i know where all your candy canes went. set up a camera for candy boy on his trips back from the loo in the middle of the night. i bet he wakes up with peppermint breath!