A Pilgrim's Progress

I know you're all just dying for me to follow up with some old posts and tell you how they've all turned out -- to update you on my idiosity, as it were. Since I’m still not reporting -- and I’m questionable for next week, too -- this seemed as good a time as any to comb through the archives and tie up some loose ends. So without any further ado I shall begin, and update you as they occur to me throughout the day:

Least, but not last: This post about my cell phone beeping.

Turns out you can shut it off. Who knew?

I left it at my Dad’s two weeks ago, and when I got it back last weekend the screen was black. I figured the battery had finally died-died-died, but even after charging for an entire day, the screen was black. I hit every button on there – including the one marked “power,” twice – but still, black.

I picked up the house phone to call the company to tell them their doo-dad was a piece of shit and they had better send me a new one right away even though I never really wanted the damn thing in the first place, then I thought “No, I’ll call my dad. Maybe he did something to it that he'll know how to undo.” Then I thought “No, I’ll email Dad, because if I call him at work he always panics and thinks I've been thrown in jail or killed or something.”

I went into the office to email Dad, and that's when I saw the empty box the phone had come in. And that's when I thought “Hm, do you think perhaps the manual would address this sort of issue?”

And that's when I learned you have to hold the power button down until the screen comes on.

I fixed it!


I'll write updates on old posts throughout the next few days -- some of them might even be about the house. So if you've been wondering how something I wrote about turned out, post a comment and inquire. Chances are the answer is "We haven't gotten around to it yet," but I can think of at least a dozen different ways to say that.