Ten Reasons Why I Couldn't Care Less About The New TV Show, "Flipping Out"

In no particular order...

1. Because when money's no object, renovation's no challenge.

2. Because if all these shows about zillionaires in L.A. County bear any resemblance to any actual "reality," then the AssVac is a Frank Lloyd Wright original.

3. Because any business that makes employees answer the phone with anything other than "Hello, Blah-Blah Business" deserves a collective punch in the nose.

4. Because stocking the fridge with Evian is not renovation, it's staging -- and it's pretentious, no matter which way the labels are facing.

5. Because you just know that the zillionaires who buy these things from him are only going to gut them and start over anyway.

6. Because I already have one Bravo show about a demanding diva, thank you.

7. Because the web site doesn't even bother to show before and after pictures of the houses. As if we're going to tune in for the star's sheer hunkiness? I'm gagging, Miss Thing.

8. Because, if he does happen to encounter any real nightmares like the rest of us plebeians suffer through, well, I kind of turn on the TV to avoid thinking about that.

9. Because the best advice he has to offer is "upgrade kitchen, bath & flooring." Well, duh.

10. Because, I'm sorry, but -- seriously? I'll watch this guy wade hip-deep through just about any disgusting thing, but I don't want to be privy to the repercussions if Miss Thing should break a nail.

Bravo Channel, Tuesdays at 10:00. Don't watch it.