It's not about the house.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Day 42: With Apologies To The Unicorns

a long time ago (like yesterday)
there was more things going Wrong than you could ever say
i was running around getting f.ed at every turn
and the worstiest of all was the ace of furn
there was mean Keyspan people and Comcast freaks
there was humper bumper traffic and toilet leaks
there was trainsanddrainsandhusbandfights but sure as you’re born
the worstiest of all was the ace of furn

the furnace guy promised he would come and see
he says "stand back, i'll be there at fivethirty"
fivethirty comes and i'm sittinonthecouch
this back can't be no good for my slouch
(Imean)
and you take mean Keyspan people and Comcast freaks
take humper bumper traffic and toilet leaks
take trainsanddrainsandhusbandfights but sure as you’re born
buddy don’t you forget my ace of furn

now Charlie was there and she answered the callin'
she knew about ABZ and she kept me from bawlin'
(wellnotquite)
but i couldn't talk to her till after eight
cuz furnguy's call would no longer wait
hey Chuck i got your mean Keyspan people and Comcast freaks
your humper bumper traffic and toilet leaks
got your trainsanddrainsandhusbandfights but chuck i’m so forlorn
cause i just don't see no ace of furn

i waited till nine through the drivin' rain
but the furnace guy was hidin' playin' silly games
we tried callin' and yellin' but it didn’t do durn
oh that silly ace of furn
then the PAP started PAPpin' and the roof started shakin'
the husband started husbandin' and the floor started bacon
the mice started squeakin' and the cats started purrin'
everything's pissed about the ace of furn
i mean the mean Keyspan people and Comcast freaks
the humper bumper traffic and toilet leaks
I cried "i need sleep, i've got to in-turn"
and i just can't wait for that ace of furn

then the house started movin' and it drifted with the tide
and the furnace guy looked up from his truck and cried
and the water come up and sort of floated him away
thats why you'll never see a furnace guy to this day
you'll see a lot of Keyspan people and a whole mess of freaks
you'll see humper bumper traffic and lots of toilet leaks
you'll see trainsanddrainsandhusbandfights but sure as you’re born
you're never gonna see no
(singitwithme)
aaaaaace
ooooof
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn

This was a request, for those of you who don't read the comments. I couldn't really get the ee formatting in blogger the way I had it in Word, because tabs and extra spaces don't work here, but you get the jist. Thanks, I feel a lot better now...

Day 41: Accomplished (oh it so counts)
Time: All f.ing day.
Cost: Another little piece of my heart (takeit).
Getting To Combine Cummings -- Sorry, cummings -- And Uncle Shelby Instead Of Writing What I Should Be Writing In The Morning Because I've Come To Believe I'm No Good At That Anyway And Someone Should Really Just Give Me A Spatula And A Paper Hat And Be Done With It: Priceless, and a little bit precious (in the obnoxious kind of way).

4 comments:

gardengirl said...

This made my day. I will, of course, be cursing at you later when I am still humming this. But right now I'm smiling. :D

And may today be better than yesterday!

Courtney said...

I love poetry day on your blog.

(And please don't give up on the morning project!)

Robert said...

Excellent!

Charlie said...

Yay!