Limited Slip Differential

Met a friend for drinks in the city after work and -- since I get out of work earlier than she does -- I went to Victoria's Secret on my way.

Some of you may have noticed that I had a birthday recently. And my loving husband gave me -- in addition to the magic bullet -- a $50 gift card to V.S.

"You need bras," he said, and he was right. I've been down to just one for several months now. "I saw a commercial. They have comfortable ones. You can get two. That's what this is for, and not anything else."

Ain't he sweet?

What he didn't know was that I had another, really old, gift card for $20 rotting in my junk drawer. Because when I got it (and thanks, whoever gave it to me, which was so long ago that I've forgotten) you couldn't get anything at Victoria's Secret for $20, and I couldn't see ponying up another thirty just to use the gift card.

But in the years since (and it has been years), it seems V.S. has gone lowbrow. For my $70 today, I got four bras -- and I had five bucks leftover.

They're not slutty anymore, either. I mean, I know Victoria's Secret was never Frederick's or anything (dang, it turns out even Frederick's isn't Frederick's anymore), but you could always count on Victoria to give you a little something-something.

Not anymore. Everything is nipple-smushing padded, rough-skin-snagging polyester. I don't mean to imply that the smushed nipples on the inside need to worry about the rough-skin snagging, but still: Ick.

After about a half an hour, I finally found it. The last slutty bra Victoria's Secret has to offer. They were two for $25, so I got two of them, and two of the two-for-$40 granny ones that Johnny recommended.

Something tells me he's not gonna mind.

All right, I'll show you:


And that's me wearing it.

Yes. It is.



Okay, that's not even the bra I bought. But it's close, and I couldn't find a picture of the real one. They must have thrown out all the old modelling shots of me in it...

Hey and PS -- you're getting close, but not right, on the CONTEST ALERT below. (Hint: this post title, and the link above...)