It's not about the house.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Mom, It's Broken

Where would you look for a spin-sander, if you were looking for one? I mean, if you knew you had one, and if you knew there was a shelving unit in the basement where all the tools were supposed to go... Would you look on that shelf?

And, if someone told you he’d looked everywhere and couldn’t find the spin-sander, would you assume that he’d looked on that shelf? Because that’s where I would look. To start with, anyway.

In fact, that’s where I did look. To start with and to finish. Because, you see…

Do you see? Little yellow thing, down in the bottom right hand corner? How's this:

That’s right my dearies. Spin-sander. On the shelf where it belongs. Took me all of fourteen seconds to find what Johnny turned the basement upside down in search of. I didn’t have to move or touch or even look at another thing.

Oh, but when I did move something – when I moved that red metal box which if I’m not mistaken holds a ratchet set – look what I found:

That’s right. Sand pads.

How do boys look for things? I mean, I didn’t even look, I just stood there and the damn thing jumped up and waved. What did Johnny do? Stand with his face against the wall for twenty minutes until he had to admit it wasn't right in front of him and come upstairs?

No, see the thing is – the worst of it is – I don’t even doubt he looked. I know he looked. I know for a fact that he was down there for a half an hour turning things over and swearing a blue streak. Which is why I was so thoroughly convinced the spin-sander really did do the skedaddle.


Mom it’s broken… Mom, it’s broken… Mom it’s broken…


Stephanie said...



I think I look for things like boys do.


...maybe it gets up and leaves while I'm looking, then comes back to sit on the shelf in plain view once I go for help.

That is possible. I am certain it is.

EGE said...

I'm certain it is, too. When it's me...

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine said if she doesn't want her husband to find stuff, she puts it below "bending from the waist" level. You may be married to the same man...

Mom it's broken said...

Or just put things where they belong! Men will NEVER find them on their own!

Georgetown House said...

Oh god. Oh god. Replace "sander on basement shelf" with "baby's saline spray on baby's dresser top" and we have the same story.

V: Where's the baby's saline spray?
Me: On top of her dresser.
V: It's not there! Help me find it!
(15 minutes of looking all over the freakin' house ensues)
Me, to self: Hmmmm, let me look on top of the baby's dresser...


V may be biologically female but that's about it, when it comes to shit like this.